Leaning The Wrong Way

Wake up call!

After sitting on my butt more than I ever should, with at least another 4-6 weeks before I'll be less tethered to the desk, I happened to be in the doctor's office recently and got weighed.

I am 5'1". With each passing decade, it seems like my body has settled into a slightly higher weight. That's been okay when it happens gradually. My body is the type that clings to fat, it doesn't like to let go easily, and I have to work very hard to lose weight when I want to. Having a bad thyroid might have something to do with it, even though I take thyroid replacement hormones, they are never what your body makes on its own.

It might also have something to do with the fact that I am right at menopause, basically I am there, standing on top of it, at the peak, barring any surprises in the next few months to knock me off my self-assurances that I'm done with that pain in the ass body function that serves no purpose whatsoever except to make my race mornings more annoying. And I am 52 years old. My metabolic function is slowing, it's reality.

Most of my female relatives are short, like me, but most of them weigh barely 100 pounds and have little, tiny bird bone wrists. They don't have big powerful quadriceps or calves like I do. They're not athletes, either. I don't know where I got my bigger bone structure, or my muscular build, or my athleticism, but it's what I have, and it's served me well. I don't envy their bodies, I just envy their ability to keep their weight down at age 60 when I have to struggle so hard. And they have thyroid problems too.

But back to the wake-up call. I stood on the scale, having kicked off my shoes, and the medical assistant kept pushing the metal weight further and further to the right, until I felt like I was going to tip over with it. I've never seen it go that far to the right!

I've always had a tendency to lean to the left. Whether it's seeing runners finishing a long ultra, in politics, and social issues. And on the scale too. I really haven't spent much too time east of 120 pounds, just during short, occasionally stressful or inactive periods of my adult life.

I was flabbergasted when I saw how much I weighed. I have gained a full 20 pounds since I ran my last race in September of 2014.

Holy crap. No wonder I can only run 11 minute miles these days.

No wonder my new, one larger size, just bought last year because I caved, pants are too tight now. No wonder the other day when I was running in my capri tights for the first time this season, that I had the new, weird sensation of flesh between each iliac crest bouncing up and down.

And when I lean to the side in my office chair, I can feel flesh in a crease that never was there before. And my butt is spreading over the chair, covering more territory, encroaching slowly, as it dominates the seat surface.

That's it. Done. I need to get off my ass, start running and putting some effort into it, and quit eating and drinking without thought. I guess I'm too old to do that anymore and ever get away with it. My BMI is solidly in the overweight range. Over 25, by a good tick. I'm FAT. I'm obesifying!!!

What did I expect? Consuming things with abandon...thoughtless, repetitive, hand-to-mouth action...

Don't tell me I'm being too critical of myself, or that I look good, because I don't care how I look. Maybe I happen to hold 140 pounds well for a 5'1" person. I don't care.

It's how I feel. I feel FAT. And no matter what people say you look like, it is not healthy to be fat. Even if nearly everyone else is. My body is made to run. Long distances. At a reasonable pace, not plodding along.

So now I'm 5 days into being very careful of what I eat to get a jump start on changing my habits, I haven't had a beer since last Saturday, and I'm VERY CRABBY!

"She hasn't been the same since the house fell on her sister"

Tread lightly around me for the next few weeks. Your life depends on it.

Roasting

Not really roasting, it's been freezing here. It's roasting in Death Valley, Phoenix, and LA. It was only today that we got warm enough that I wasn't wearing long sleeves and tights. I got back to running this week, only about 21 miles, and walked an equal amount. I've been doing a lot of cooking the past few days. Getting away from the garbage I was letting myself eat after the race.

Next week I'll bump the miles to 40, and the following week it will all depend on how quickly I feel recovered from the propofol. It's funny that to me, getting that stuff in my body is more of an issue than the colonoscopy itself. I want to be able to resume full training by that first week in June.

I wish I had a lot of exciting stuff to write about, I feel excited about a lot of happenings in my life right now, mostly to do with my business. I just don't have a lot of running news at this time. I am very excited about training for NorthCoast and seeing what I can do on a road course. And then I have another race in mind, down the road, that I am thinking about, on the track. One thing at a time, though.

I'm looking forward to those speed workouts again, tempo runs, and running a few short races too. We have quite a few 5Ks, 10Ks, and half-marathons around here in the summer and I'll do some. I'm also looking for another marathon to do in July.

I'm enjoying the small number of clients I have now, it's always a challenge to come up with new ideas based on whatever their situations are, to help them. I'm going to do a small amount of print advertising in one particular local publication because it will target the clients I want. I am going to be doing a radio show on a local public radio station, and it will be available as a podcast after the show airs live. Then there are a few other things on the horizon that might result in some publicity for my business. That makes me happy.

Right now I am sipping a new concoction that I threw together and I don't know why I never thought of this before. I heated up a cup of unsweetened almond milk in the microwave until it foamed on top, for about a minute and a half, then added a packet of instant Starbucks decaf French roast coffee to it, and a couple of teaspoons of sugar-free vanilla syrup. It's a decaf skinny vanilla almond latte. And it's awesome. Costs less than $1.50 to make at home and costs over $3.00 at Starbucks with regular skim milk. Plus it only has about 40 calories and a tall Starbucks skinny latte has 100. But who's counting calories?

I am watching what I eat over the next two weeks. I ate everything in sight for about a week and I could feel a little of it creeping back onto my midsection, it's more noticeable when you start with less. And pretty amazing how fast it comes back. I don't want to go back anywhere near where I was before. So I'm back in the habit of cutting out the crap, and by the time June rolls around, I should be good to go.

Kicking Winter's Butt

Winter, you didn't know who you were messing with. You think you can dump snow and ice and make it 3 degrees on the morning I planned a 40 mile run.

Well I have news for you, bucko. I'm not taking your crap any longer. I wasn't born yesterday. I don't have to put up with this.

If it's stronger than you are, you have to be smarter than it. And I showed it who's boss!

I decided to take my rest week a week early and move the 40 mile run to this week, which should give me somewhere around 100 miles for the week, doubling my age in miles, sounds like like a good birthday plan to me!

I'm counting today as the start of our beautiful mud season. Bulbs are coming up, along with oregano...

There is only one remaining pile of snow in the yard, which should be gone by tomorrow morning. And there are signs of spring everywhere, birds making noise, squirrels darting out from every tree trunk, and it's time to switch gears.

Tomorrow I am going to take advantage of the forecasted beautiful day and get that long run in, I'm packing everything into a little backpack with money to buy food along the way, and running all day long.

The yard is a swamp, complete with snakes.

I took Iris for a few miles this morning and then went back out for a total of 17 miles. I slipped a fast 5K in there and 7:30s didn't take too much effort.

I got on the scale yesterday and I'm down to 120 pounds. I have lost a total of 12 pounds, and I'm only 3 to 5 pounds away from my goal weight. I'm pretty sure that I don't need to go below 115. Then I'd be too skinny. At this point, I don't feel like I need to make too much effort other than maintaining what I'm doing, because bumping up the miles and intensity will most likely take care of those last few pounds. And if it's really hard to lose, which I suspect it might be, no big deal. I feel so much better already and I'm running so much better.

I asked Dennis to tell me if I start to look too skinny. He thinks I'm still good, but he can tell I've lost quite a bit. I do not want to have ribs and bones sticking out everywhere, or looking like a board when I turn sideways. I don't like to look like that and I think it's unhealthy. People who haven't seen me in a while notice it right away, in my face.

It's muddy paw season too. Next time we get the floors redone, I need to remember to find a muddy pawprint tile pattern.

Iris has been going crazy since the snow melted because now all the goose poop is exposed. I look forward to the rain washing it away and the geese taking off again. Isabelle loves spring, she finds the muddiest spot in the yard to lie down in, and soaks it up in her belly hairs, then comes in and shakes it all over the walls. It's a never ending battle with the mop and wiping the walls from now until it warms up enough to turn on the hose and hose them down outside.

What can you do? It's our dog house.

Back From The Whirlwind!

I don't remember the last time I took a whole week away from blogging. This week was a whirlwind and I was so busy, I just didn't have time to sit down to write a blogpost. But it's been a good busy whirlwind!

I survived last weekend's Prairie Dog Torture Fest, but I was exhausted until the middle of the week. I didn't even run until Wednesday and then only about 6 miles. I needed a ton of sleep and my legs hurt.

I think I was just tired and a little stressed from trying to finish up preparing for my health coach exam, and my body is still not sure what it's doing when it comes to training.

On Tuesday morning I went over to the local community college to take my health coach exam in a proctored setting. It's for the ACE certification, American Council on Exercise, which is one of just a few reputable organizations out there. I heard there was a very low pass rate for this exam.

It was 150 questions and I had 3 hours to do it, and I used up a good portion of that time! It was tough, but I passed and I was so relieved. I have taken a lot of these computer based tests over the past 8 years, the NCLEX to get my nursing license, two nursing certifications in Critical Care and Oncology, and the ACE exam, so far. I don't like those tests, I have a hard time sitting still for that long.

It's expensive to keep up these certifications with all the continuing education you have to do, but I like it, it keeps me current because there's always new research, especially in cancer, you can hardly keep up with it from day to day!

I have one more to take when I'm done studying for my certification as a Cancer Exercise Trainer. That's through ACSM, American College of Sports Medicine, and it's been a good 25 years since I was in school studying exercise physiology and ten years since I was a personal trainer, so I have a bit of catching up to do.

Of course a celebration was in order. I am limiting myself to one beer a week. It's working. I am now down to 122 pounds, that's 10 pounds of nursing and stress fat that I have lost so far. Another 5 and I'll be happy. But the beer deserves a mention, because in my beer taper, I was craving an Isolation Ale, and when I went to the liquor store, they were out! It's a seasonal beer and it won't come back until next winter. Bummer.

I decided to give this spring beer from New Belgium a shot. Spring Blonde, it's called. It was good. It's more like a lager but has a citrusy flavor too. It would be a good beer to drink on a hot day. Unfortunately hot days are few and far between, as we got another cold snap with snow and ice at mid-week. Just in time for a visit from Florida. Hung, a runner from Orlando, whom I know from Badwater and North Coast, was coming to visit.

Hung and I ran together a bit all day and through the middle of the night last year in the howling wind and cold along Lake Erie, and he contacted me to tell me he was coming to Colorado. I offered to show him around Fort Collins, he was visiting friends in Longmont, Denver, and Greeley too, with the idea of moving to Colorado at least temporarily. He wanted to check out the area.

It wasn't exactly an ideal day for running. We ended up going out for lunch and I showed him around town, and then we drove up to Horsetooth Reservoir so he could see where the trails were, 9 degrees with who knows what kind of wind chill was a bit much for a Floridian!

I also attended a fascinating and entertaining lecture at the university by one of the Veterinary Oncologists there, about where we are with animal research and how it is applied to benefit humans. After the lecture I stuck around for the reception and talked to about a dozen people I've known through my time at the hospital, colleagues, patients, and people in the community, it was nice to see all of them.

Funny, none of my former coworkers or bosses were there. They must be too exhausted from dealing with all the B.S. to have time to attend an event that's relevant to what they are supposed to be doing.

I had a bit more energy by late in the week but couldn't motivate myself to do any real hill or speed-like workouts. And here it is Sunday.

I was originally going to run the Frost Giant 5K today up in Estes Park, but I felt like an easy 20 miler might be better for my body. I think I made a wise choice.

I've run a few times now with Emma and when we ran together on Friday she told me that a group was meeting up at Redstone Canyon on Sunday morning. That sounded perfect for me, Redstone Canyon is only a 13 mile out and back, but I could add on by running in several directions.

I felt good on the run. I wasn't pushing the pace, but I could definitely feel a difference both uphill and downhill, I am carrying less weight. I ended up running twenty miles about a minute per mile faster than my last flat twenty miler about a month ago.

Redstone Canyon is southwest of Fort Collins. It's about a 13 mile out and back up this county road that passes through some beautiful scenery: rocks, cliffs, desert-like vegetation along with juniper, ponderosa pines, and cottonwoods along the creeks. It also gives close-up views of the west side of Horsetooth Rock.

I rarely run there anymore. I used to run Redstone Canyon all the time, before we moved to Arizona. I forgot what a challenging run it is. It's just not very long.

I got up there early so I could get a few of my extra miles in. I first ran up to the Horsetooth Mountain Park trailhead, which is on the road and climbs a good steady hill. I headed back down when I got a text from Emma that she was on her way with the others. When I got back to my car there was a large group of people assembled at the road, from Emma's group.

I hung back with Emma and a couple of other women and took a lot of pictures until they turned around. I got up to the end of the county road where there is a gate that blocks you from proceeding along the road, and started heading back down. I was surprised to be moving as fast as I was. I felt good, but I ran out of water on the way down.

I got back to the bottom of the road, got more water out of my car, drank a little, and took off back up the Redstone Canyon road to finish my last 3 or so miles to get 20. I probably got about 900 or 1000 feet of vertical in each direction, so while it wasn't a lot of climbing, there are some pretty good hills in there.

It took me three hours and 20 minutes, and my last 20 miler took about 20 minutes longer. I feel like I'm making progress.

I have two weeks until the Pemberton 50K. I haven't been doing a lot of miles or long runs, certainly don't have anything resembling leg speed, but last year I ran it in just over 5 hours. I was doing a lot more miles at the time, but I did weigh a bit more. I'm curious to see what happens this year.

Oh yeah, how silly of me, almost forgot to mention, the Broncos are going to the Superbowl. The girls are excited.

Rock Repeats Again: Don't Eat Yellow Snow!

This morning I woke up at 4:45. I have no idea why. I was having weird dreams again, seems like I remember bits of more work nightmares. Sometimes I wonder if the whole experience of nursing doesn't give you PTSD to some degree.

Since I was up, and it was hill day, I decided to take advantage of the timing to get out before sunrise and take some pictures.

I drove up to Horsetooth Mountain trailhead and watched the sunrise from different turnouts along the road, until I got to the park and then took a ton of pictures on the first two switchbacks of the Southridge Trail, where I do my Rock Repeats.

Today the agenda was just one time up and down. I'll build up to more later, but after being so sore last week, and this being my low mileage week, I thought I'd better hold back.

The trail was incredibly icy in places- all the flatter, easy sections were a slick sheet of ice. The steep parts were dry. Once I got to the top, I had to turn around, and going down was worse. I was trying to keep myself from biting the big one, as I slid down the short little pitches, I passed this pile of snow. Literally trying not to eat yellow snow!

I should have brought the MICROspikes! I didn't even think of it, because I've never seen the trail so icy. Then it occurred to me that this time of year I am usually not up there, I'm usually recovering from Across the Years and my Rock Repeats don't generally start until February or March.

I made it to the bottom without too many near-wipeouts, and drove home. The wind was picking up again and it was colder than when I started.

I got on the scale, bravely, this morning. I was really afraid to. I was afraid I would see no, or very little, progress. But I lost 7 pounds so far! I am down to 125 pounds from 132 at New Years. I still have a bit more to lose. I'm only about halfway there.

Tonight is my first opportunity to "cheat". I will allow myself to do that once a week. That includes a beer or a margarita, and a meal where I can have whatever I want to eat. But then it's back to business the next day. It's funny, I haven't been missing anything food-wise, but I have been missing beer. I don't know why but a very cold, almost frozen, Isolation Ale sounds so good. And tonight I can have one.

Funny that the past two days there have been articles in our local paper about drinking in Fort Collins. Stephen Meyers followed up today on the news from yesterday with this. He quoted me at the end, too. Of course we're youthful in attitude. Only a Fort Collins ultrarunner would plan a 50 mile run that ends up at a brewery for their 50th birthday.

Fort Collins in January: Thoughts on Running, Eating, and Drinking

Geese, ice, and wind. That's what you'll find in Fort Collins this time of year.

I love running in January. Yesterday it was super cold and windy, in the morning it snowed and then stopped. It was warm enough that the snow melted off the streets and didn't affect the footing. The trail was dry, no mud sticking to my shoes.

Today the paper had an article that said Fort Collins is ranked as number 4 in the heaviest drinking cities in the U.S. It ranks up there with several other university towns or places that are mostly in the northern or midwest part of the U.S., with long, cold winters. with all our breweries and a university it's not surprising. But Fort Collins is also known for it's active outdoor lifestyle. It would be interesting to compare the most popular activities of the other towns listed.

Speaking of drinking, I have not had a single sip of beer or any alcohol in two weeks. I've been able to make it for fourteen days so far on this strict eating plan to get myself back on track with healthy eating, and that means no sugars, no alcohol, I haven't had any grains except oatmeal, fruit, or any carbohydrates other than from vegetables. I've been eating lean protein and veggies, with some yogurt and cottage cheese, is about it.

After this I am going to slowly add variety back to what I'm eating, but watch my portion sizes and stick mostly to what I've been doing, going back to the salads and fish and vegetable-dominated meals that I used to eat before I got stressed. what I find so amazing is that I've had a relatively easy time of it, I haven't been hungry, and I've had lots of energy.

I haven't been brave enough to step on the scale but I can tell that my mountain bike tire around my midsection has shrunk a good bit, and I still have a ways to go. I don't know if I'll ever get rid of all of it, but running lighter will certainly help me feel better and run better.

I don't want to focus on the numbers but I am curious to see what I've dropped. I'm a little afraid of seeing it in case it hasn't moved very much, I don't want to be frustrated or disappointed. So I'll wait until the right moment. Whenever I think that is.

Looking back, it really was the emotional eating component of the stress of my old lifestyle, the nursing lifestyle I would now call it. The cortisol circulating in my body all the time from stress, feeling hungry all the time, developing some insulin resistance, and sitting on my butt because I felt so crappy, when I should have been up and moving. And not watching how much I was eating.

And then the drinking beer. I was often drinking two beers a day, which is a lot more than I ever consumed in the past. I used to be able to only drink about half a beer. I love beer, but I always wish the breweries would make half-size bottles, like 6 ounces, for people who want to taste it but don't want to drink a lot.

It's been taking me a while to recover, seems like the 30 miler I did last weekend has stuck with me a while. I needed naps over the past few days. But yesterday I did feel a little better on my easy run and it wasn't hard to pick up the pace.

This week appears to be shaping up nicely as far as the weather goes. It looks like we might get into the 50s again and sunny, but the wind will hang around, which is normal. I plan to run the Prairie Dog Half Marathon in Louisville, close to Boulder, on Sunday, to get a timed, solid workout just to see where I am. A reality check.

Not so bad when this is your reality!

Swinging from the Treetops...

I slept in this morning, until about 6:45. First thing I did was check into the Across the Years (ATY) 6 day race to see how things were going between Joe Fejes and Yiannis Kouros.

The two running gods have been running within single digit miles of each other almost the entire time. Kouros is the current 6 day world record holder from Greece, and I've seen him at several races before. He's getting older, at age 57 now, but in ultras, that's a good thing.

Joe Fejes, on the other hand, is from Georgia (U.S.) and has been tearing it up on the roads for the past couple of years. He set the 72 hour record last year at ATY and that's where I first met him. He talked with me on a few laps but he was kind enough to speak with me on the phone weeks after the race to give me some 24 hour pointers, and has sent me encouraging messages at and between various events over the past year. He's my hero, basically. I never really had a running hero before but he is now it.

I was waiting for a text from Wheaties Boy this morning as we were supposed to run sometime around 9 am, which coincided with the finish of the race at ATY, so when he texted me and said he was running late, it was a lucky break. I got to see Joe break the American record and go on to win with 555.35 miles over the 6 day race.

Joe is 48 years old so that means his best years in the multiday events are still ahead of him. There are no limits, he could be swinging from the treetops...

Awesome...

The 6 day race is something I've been wanting to do, in the future, but I need to get my goals out of the way for shorter distances first. Maybe in 5 years or so. The longest run I've ever done was my Badwater road double crossing which was 270 miles over 5 days, and I loved staying out there, you get so zoned out into that rhythm of moving forward.

I got another text from Wheaties Boy and I headed out the door to run to the church parking lot where we meet. I got a couple of miles in to warm up, and ended up with 8 total. We ran about 6 miles together and I felt pretty damn good. Our first run in about 6 months! We should start meeting regularly again soon, which always helps me.

Yesterday I ran 14+ and threw a little fartlek in, just to push the pace without making it too intense. Tomorrow is an easy day with weights and then Sunday I run an 8K at Edora Park early in the morning with the running club, and it's supposed to be super cold!

This afternoon I sat in the hot tub, looking at the reflection of the treetops. I've made it to day 2 of the weight loss attempt, which is good. I haven't been hungry either. There's only a narrow range of foods I will eat for the next couple of weeks before I start adding my normal foods back. Normal healthy foods. The kind I used to eat before I got all stressed out with my old job.

And no alcohol whatsoever, either, for these two weeks. After that I'll let myself have a beer, or a glass of wine, once a week. This is more about re-establishing habits than anything. I find it takes about two weeks to get into a routine. I just needed to kick the old, bad habits.

So I can turn 50, jump on my pogo stick, swing from the treetops, and live like Sally O'Malley.

Feeding It at the Woman Cave

Two hour run today, Sunday, wrapping up a total of 35 miles for the week. It's a start. I ran the Power Trail, I haven't been brave enough to venture down along Spring Creek Trail or the Poudre River to see the flood damage. I stuck to an easy ultra pace but picked it up for one mile just to move a little faster and see what the hamstring would tolerate. 8:54 pace was the limit. I sort of hoped I'd be able to handle a little faster than that. But the good news is, it didn't have a lasting effect, it was just being aware of it at that pace.

The one thing that did happen, which I have to laugh about, is that I chafed in places I usually never chafe. That's because there is even more of me than there was a few months ago. I've packed on the weight over the summer. My bicycle road tire feels like it's ready to graduate to motorcycle status. Maybe that's a little bit of exaggeration, maybe it's just a mountain bike tire, but I am carrying around a few extra pounds on top of the extra pounds I gained after last spring's racing season. Oh well, what can you do? It's stress and I feel confident that working out and feeling better will take the flesh away from my midsection quickly.

It will be a slow comeback but I'm not worried about it now. I'm still too distracted to get going with a solid strengthening program but I'm waiting until after this week when my life becomes mine again.

Last night Bard and Rikki stopped by with this t-shirt for me, I love his Feed Your Crazy concept and I wanted a t-shirt. I have always been antipathetic toward the use of "crazy" and "ultra" in the same sentence, because I feel that people running ultras are the sane ones and everyone on the couch is crazy, but when Bard first described this idea to me, I could completely relate to it.

This week we started out with the rain that would not go away, followed by a rainbow, followed by Buffaloes getting depressed about the weather and the fact that their dad was in Indianapolis for a conference, of all places. Now it's perfect fall weather and crisp in the mornings, and soon the bugs will be gone and my favorite riparian areas will be runnable again without aspirating six-legged flying critters.

The Equinox Half Marathon, which was supposed to be run down the Poudre Canyon today, was postponed. I originally signed up to run it, then I signed up to help with packet pickup, and then it was all cancelled. The cleanup from the floods is a huge operation, we still see helicopters flying overhead today. I don't know how long it will be before the hundreds of washed out roads and bridges are repaired or even passable.

I plan to run with Wheaties Boy this coming Wednesday, our first run together since last month when I was not ready to run. Now I'm ready, even if it is at a slower pace and shorter distance.

Then it got cold, and then the leaves started changing colors. Yes, I think 45 degrees is cold. Actually, it feels great, with socks and the heater on. It will take a lot of acclimatizing before I'm ready for freezing temperatures, but then, this is Colorado. We could have a blizzard next week.

One more week of my 12 hour shifts at work, and about a gazillion appointments jammed in between this week and next week, all good stuff. I know I'm doing better, because I must have worked at least 8 hours a day for the past 3 days on business-related stuff and I feel happy and I'm enjoying it, and I look forward to the next step with everything I've been working on. It's that Cziksentmihalyi "flow" phenomenon.

I'm ready for this week, and moving forward, feeding my crazy every day.