Scatter my ashes here...
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
The past few days I've been fairly productive. I guess it took 50 miles to unplug the system and get the pipes cleaned out, get everything working again. If that's all it takes, I'll gladly throw in a 50 miler every so often for productivity.
This place is getting crazier all the time. On Saturday Dale and I were talking politics as we circled the lake. About cronyism and corruption and how damn bad it needs to get before people WTFU.
I woke up this morning and almost choked on my coffee when I saw that beautiful red white and blue front page picture of Ted Cruz announcing his candidacy for Republican presidential hopeful. Rah, Rah. USA! Oh, wait. He wasn't born here. Where's Donald Trump when you need him?
Then I was out walking Iris this morning and came across a yard sign, and it inspired me to write this post on Fighting Dinosaurs. I thought I'd share it.
That's all I have to say for now. I'm still coughing up coffee.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
My goal was to stay on my feet the whole time, I didn't care how many miles I got. I didn't expect much.
My friends Marissa DeMercurio and Pete Kardassis held the Fat Ass gathering in a park, on a 1.15 mile walking path around Lake Arbor. It was mostly flat with a couple of small, almost imperceptible hills. The park has a view of Longs Peak and the Indian Peaks.
It was one of those perfect spring days, it was sunny and warm but there was enough of a breeze to cool things off without making it difficult to run in the wind.
Driving down from Fort Collins in the morning I got lost for about 10 minutes once I got into Westminster. It was dark so I couldn't see the mountains, and I ended up going in the opposite direction that I was supposed to go. I pulled over and realized I didn't have my reading glasses and I couldn't see my phone to look at the map. Last week I got my first pair of progressive lenses and now I can't see $&@#!
Finally I found Lake Arbor. It was dark and no one was there except for a lone figure with a headlamp in the dark unloading stuff from a car. I pulled over, put my window down, and said, "Marissa?".
Our friend Vince Gerber showed up and did a few laps, I walked with Vince and Dale for a while and then I started to run more. Vince and Dale continued on together. Later on Matt and Anne Watts showed up, they saw the pictures I posted on Facebook and decided to check it out. Matt joined me for a couple of laps. And Danie, an old friend from Western State College, showed up and did a lap with me.
Early in the day I had my iPod and stuck it in my bra for a lap because I had nothing on me to anchor it. I forgot to bring my pack on that lap. By the time I got around the lake to get my pack, I pulled my iPod out, and it was all sweaty. Then the stupid thing wouldn't work. It would start and play for a few seconds, then shut off. I thought maybe it got too much moisture in it, and it might dry out. Later on it started working again, but it would cut out every so often. I finally got frustrated with it and grabbed my old MP3 player with all the trance music on it, and listened to that.
My legs felt slow and tired but not too bad. I've only run 120 miles so far this year, an average of 12 miles a week. I have done a lot of walking, though. I think that helped. I was surprised that I had as much energy as I did, and I actually did more running in the last 3 hours of the race than I did all day. My back didn't hurt, either, that was the other thing I was concerned about.
In the last hour Dale was sitting in the aid station talking with Matt, Anne, and Vince, and every time I went through they would give me a hard time. Vince ate the butts off my Peeps and left the buttless Peeps on the sticks.
As the laps progressed, I found the motivation to run a few minutes each lap, and it was enough to get me just over 50. I finished with 50.6 miles at about 12 hours and 2 minutes, not enough time to do another lap. I had time to take pictures of the sunset, too.
I gave away most of my remaining Peeps with the intact butts to a group of kids who walked by on one of my last few laps.
I drove home, and Dennis went to Whole Foods and got a pizza, and brought home some Corona beer. It was awesome.
I'm not moving too bad this morning, not sore or stiff except my toes hurt. My shoes were pretty worn out, so that might explain it. Sometimes it takes a couple of days before I feel it. I have some interesting tan lines, a stripe around my ankles between the compression sleeves and my socks. And a farmers tan on top, raccoon eyes, and the beginning of my annual watch tan.
I feel "normal" again.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Isabelle is doing well with recovering from surgery. I've had to hold her back several times because she wanted to chase squirrels, go out the doggie door, try the stairs, and fence fight with Iris. She's not supposed to do any of those things for 2 weeks after her surgery, and it's only been 5 days.
Saturday I went for my longest run in two months, I ran 10 miles on the Power Trail and felt decent. Not great, and I was slow, but it was a nice morning and I decided to get out before my motivation failed and I did it. I didn't have to stop, didn't have to walk, didn't get down over struggling with my lack of fitness. I went out 6 miles and came back 4, and walked the final 2 miles, on purpose, because I planned no more than 10 miles. I didn't want to be sore or tired, and it was a good strategy because this morning I feel fine.
I need to save something for next weekend too, when I'll be on my feet for 12 hours.
The BEST news of all is that my dad's bone marrow biopsy results came back and it was good news, it is the same thing he's been dealing with for years, it hasn't transformed into something worse. He's in his third week of chemo and other than being tired, he's doing well. When he told me that on the phone yesterday I felt all the tension in my body release. Like a giant body sigh...
If you're not familiar with the SpongeBob story, you can reference it here. You can scroll down toward the end of the post, to Visitor in the Shadows. After residing in our garage for the past several months, I kicked SpongeBob out, made him change out of his Halloween clothes into something more appropriate, and dropped him off at Felix's house. SpongeBob is a notorious couch surfer and I thought it was time he moved out for a while. We're tired of feeding him. Who knows when he might reappear, but for now, that's one less mouth to feed.
The weather has finally turned for the better. I planted some lettuce and spinach in the boxes to see if we can get away with growing anything yet.
I heard from my longtime ultra running buddy Dr. Andy Lovy, U.S. national ultra team physician, the other day and he told me he will be in Oklahoma this fall, and I am considering trying to get myself in shape to at least run the 12 hour there. I don't have any big expectations but it would be a good way to start my comeback. We'll see what happens. It's more about seeing Andy than the race. As my favorite ultrarunning icons get older, it's more important to me to see them when I can.
And Bob is in Badwater, so the double is on, and I plan to be there at least to crew for the return trip. I'm also considering a Grand Canyon double this fall. It all depends on how things go and how my fitness returns. The most important thing is that I am looking forward to things again, I didn't realize how much some of these stressors, mostly my dad's health, were weighing on me.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
We scheduled Isabelle's surgery on the 10th, to have a huge lipoma removed from her right hind leg. The 10th also happened to be my birthday, number 51, and I knew we'd be busy taking care of Isabelle, so on the evening of the 9th, we decided to go out to the Rio and get some margaritas. It was a last minute decision after dinner. I had one regular margarita which is normally more than enough to do me in, but they had blood orange margaritas as a special and I had to try that. So I did.
It was sweet, didn't taste all that good. But by the time I went to bed that night my was head spinning, knowing I had to get up in the morning to take Isabelle to the vet.
Isabelle's surgery went well. She's been comfortable. Dennis and I have taken turns sleeping on the futon, which we dragged into the living room, so we could be with Isabelle all night. She can't do stairs for a couple of weeks.
That has resulted in sleep deprivation for both of us. My brain has been gone. I went to the store yesterday, forgot the most important thing on my list, and realized I had my shirt on backwards.
As far as running goes, I am just looking forward to the 12 hour run next weekend. No matter what, it will be good for me to get out and stretch my legs, cover some distance, listen to music, and lose myself. I need it for therapy so bad!
The exciting thing this week is that the Empowered Nurses book, in which I wrote a chapter, is due to be released on March 16th. there is also a telesummit that shows the interviews with me and the other 10 authors. I am going to write a separate post about that and the book soon. Check it out. There's a link to purchase the book in the right-hand column of this blog.
The premise behind the book is to show how nurses can rise above the problems in the profession and find a more fulfilling path in nursing.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
I ran 6 miles Monday, a little over 7 with Cat yesterday, and 6 today. That is the most I've run in over a month. I have put some walking miles in, there were two weeks where I walked over 40 miles a week. But I averaged 12 miles a week of running in February.
It felt like crap today, That same elephant leg feeling. Every step is an effort. It's the same way I was feeling last summer and all through the fall. Maybe it's vitamin D deficiency, or I've lost so much fitness that back to back hour runs make me tired. Not to mention the extra blobs of fat, I am so bloated even my fat pants are getting tight. My butt is so big I can feel the extra lard when I sit on it. I have the bike tire in front which is fast approaching a motorcycle tire.
Yesterday when Cat and I were running we talked about lack of motivation to run, eating too much, and drinking too much. If I could just get two of those three things fixed I'd be doing better. But when my legs feel like lead, it makes running not very enjoyable and I don't look forward to going out. I am not kidding, my legs have felt better after ALL of my 100+ mile races. It's bad.
I went to a cocktail party the other night, and at this point I only have two dresses that fit me. One was not appropriate for a cocktail party, the other is my funeral dress. So I wore the black funeral dress and there were bulges everywhere: Kardashian butt, muffin top, back boobs, I had to wear a cardigan over it because it was so obvious that I've packed on the pounds.
I'm not motivated to get on the bike, I haven't been lifting weights because of my back, but I know I need to avoid getting weaker muscles. I am not going anywhere near the pool since I can't even fit into my swimsuit right now, and I would be embarrassed to be seen in public.
My dad is doing well so far with the chemo, one week in. We'll see how things progress. So far he feels tired but he's been tired for a while, so it's good that there are no other problems. Isabelle is scheduled for surgery to remove the lipoma on Tuesday, which also happens to be my birthday. I feel like it's a good decision to do this, she will probably move a lot better once she heals in a few weeks. But I'm still going to worry, which is what a mom does.
Last year I was feeling so good for my 50th birthday. It was great for a few months, then everything went to hell in time for 51...maybe 52 will be good. I know it will take a long time for me to bounce back from where I am now. I need something to push me forward, because I am not doing it on my own. Maybe it's around the corner...
I'm looking forward to the 12 hour run in two weeks. I need that much more for my head than my body. It will be my therapy. I might just waddle in circles and cry.
Monday, March 2, 2015
When I woke up at 6:30 this morning, it was light out, but the sky was completely overcast. I don't know where the sun is, but it seems to have left Colorado. I can't get myself motivated to get out and run when it's so gloomy and cold. No running goals currently appeal to me.
Life has been fairly exciting lately, a lot of good projects happening. Fighting Dinosaurs launched this weekend and things went smoothly, I got a guest blogpost in time for the launch and plenty of comments on the initial posts. Today the Empowered Nurses book is scheduled for release, I have a chapter in there. I am just waiting for the official word and I will be adding links to it on my blogs and websites.
There are the worrisome things too. My dad took his first dose of chemo yesterday, he seemed to be doing fine when I talked with him later in the day. I'll be going down to visit again in a couple of weeks.
Isabelle has a big lipoma on her right hind leg. Being 13 1/2 years old I hesitate to do any surgery but I trust our vet and he understands my philosophy about my dogs. We did pre-op labs just to see if she's healthy enough for anesthesia, just in case, and everything looked great. She's limping and yesterday she didn't even want to go to Starbucks with Dennis and Iris. That's not like Isabelle. The vet seems to think she would be able to move a lot easier if it's just a lipoma and we took it out, he said it's usually pretty simple to get it out without having to cut any muscles or connective tissue. So we are considering it. I'm talking with him later today about what the whole process would be.
I want her to have good quality of life, and she has plenty of energy and still eats like a pig, so I'm inclined to give it a try. If for some reason it turns out to be something more serious than a simple lipoma, then we'll have to make other decisions. None of us are ready to part with any members of the Buffalo Family, and we're hoping to get good news, but getting prepared otherwise just in case. It's sad and scary. We love our Bella.
I am going to make myself run 30 minutes at least today, and take Iris for a walk if The Bella doesn't want to go. I am such a pile of mush. But I will get there, somehow. Maybe when the sun comes out again...