Scatter my ashes here...
Monday, November 30, 2015
I did get out and run today, my first run in 2 weeks. Thought I would die the first mile and a half but I managed to keep going. I told myself 30 minutes, and at 30 minutes I was only at 2.6 miles, so I told myself to go for an even 3. 35:28. I did it. See you next month.
I found these squirrel tracks this morning, leading across the brick walkway under the arbor to the front steps to the woman cave. I think Iris has come back as a squirrel. She ate so many of them during her lifetime, it wouldn't surprise me one bit.
Tomorrow is December 1, and to me, that's the lead-up to spring. January 1 is the first day of spring in my world. I need to set some kind of goals going forward. Even though I have no desire to race or compete, I feel like I need some kind of thing to build up to. I'll need to think about that one, maybe a birthday run or something, but not for miles per year. I don't want to force myself into running that far by early March. I'll figure out some arbitrary adventure to do sometime in the next few months. I'm sure there are some weirdos around who will join me. Maybe between all of us we can run 52 miles.
My jeans have spoken.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Last night I woke up around 2:30 feeling hot, as usual, and went into the guest bedroom to lie down on the bed in there, where it was much cooler. I was just starting to find a comfortable position, and I felt a sudden weight land on the end of the bed, near my feet. Nothing could explain it except Iris. She would have jumped up on the bed with me in that exact spot if she were here. I know it was her paying us a visit.
I think she hangs out at the top of the stairs, watching over us, the way she used to. Isabelle is always looking up there, even when she knows that Dennis and I are both downstairs. Iris is watching over all of us.
Since my NaBloPoMo effort has been mostly a success, while NaRunMoMo turned out disappointingly due to my respiratory crud, I will attempt to re-start, if not all running, at least regular workouts, tomorrow. Mondays were always the beginning of my training week. I have the bike set up, and I feel like the crud has mostly subsided, except for still coughing up nasty looking stuff in the mornings.
My legs feel like they want to jump out of my skin and my body feels like it's been tied up in knots and needs to be stretched and moved, and I absolutely MUST get back to something. I have a lot more desk work to do before I can start spending more time up and active at work. I feel like a pile of melted butter from my ribs to my knees.
There's only more day in November after today, and then spring is right around the corner, on January 1. It might be too cold for Isabelle to be in the cart some days, but I can load bags of mulch in it for traction on the snow and start getting my outdoor workouts in.
Iris would not have let me idle for so long, she kept me moving all the time. I have a busy work week ahead, but I'll set my phone to prompt me every day that I need to get the workout in.
The bark tone on my phone sounds just like Iris's bark. Get your butt out the door, mom!
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Usually we spend the holiday with our friends here in town but this year they were visiting family on the Western Slope. We knew Bella would appreciate not being left at home alone, and we know it's her last Thanksgiving. We took the Bella to Starbucks for a pup cup yesterday, wrapped her up tight in an extra blanket. She loved it.
I have decided to mount my bike on the trainer in the living room this weekend, so I will have additional options for getting some movement in. The other day I was walking down the stairs and felt a twinge in my left IT band. It felt like a rubber band snapped. Just a tiny twinge, but I can feel that something in there is not quite right. It's not the whole thing, just the edge of it.
I try really hard every year not to buy anything on Black Friday. I really resent what it has become, it's like the worst of all the Walmart and Costco shoppers come out of the woodwork, parasites, crawling into lines at dark hours. If you are a Black Friday shopper, whatever your reasons, I don't mean to offend you personally, if you have a good reason for braving the flu-infested crowds, snotty kids, and people wild-eyed with greed, willing to draw blood and brawl on the filthy linoleum floors in the cash register lines for $20 off the TV they want so they can sit around and eat more crap in front of it.
I was so happy when REI announced its #OptOutside campaign. I know it's just another way to market themselves but it really would be nice if most companies would stop forcing their employees to endure the shopping frenzy on one more day when they could be taking care of their own families and well-being. Going outside and breathing some fresh air...what a concept.
I tend to abhor shopping for anything, even groceries, from November through December. Walking into a grocery store and being smacked in the face with the pungent, nose-frying smell of fake cinnamon-scented pine cones and whatever else they have parked near the doors and endcaps is enough to make me turn around gagging and walk out the door. Why we must all be subjected to such scents when some of us find them offensive even in their real form...I do not like cinnamon. And fake cinnamon is even worse.
I don't care about the blank red Starbucks cups. I really don't care about the holiday symbols, they don't bother me. Not a Christian here. I just don't like the greed and overconsumption that goes along with the holidays. Just 38 days until the first Monday after New Years, when it will be safe to go into a store and breathe again!
Bah Humbug and enjoying the fresh air!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
The other day in the grocery store I ran into an acquaintance, a woman I've met on my runs near the lake. We stopped and talked for a while. She's about my age, and we've both been struggling between being busy and in her case, injuries, and trying to motivate ourselves to do even the bare minimum. I know I need to get back to at least doing the cross training and the resistance work. I am turning into such a pile of mush.
The challenge for me is developing a program that I will stick to, which means, it has to be something I can do in just a few minutes, that doesn't require me to stop and take a block of time out of my day. But I have to be able to remember to do it. That means making it a habit. Where did my motivation go?
I do feel motivated to cook and eat today, which is a good thing...
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
I feel like going for a good walk and I might have to do that later because it's supposed to get super cold, like single digits, and maybe snow, over the next few days. I'll have to bundle up really well and I'm not sure how my lungs will respond to the intense cold air. I'll try though. I'm really hoping I have the worst of this behind me and can start on somewhat of a regular routine next week. I'm uncomfortable in my clothes, my body feels like a big blob.
I love my little Bella. She's looking forward to the turkey smells and tastes. She needs a break from salmon. I'm looking forward to the time to hang out with Dennis and Isabelle and not have to do much of anything. Wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving too.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Today I had a business meeting with someone that lasted nearly 3 hours, but was very worthwhile and enjoyable. I met a woman who is well-connected in the patient advocacy and cancer survivorship community, and we had a great talk. I went over my content with her and she gave some great ideas and feedback. I'm so excited for this. It all takes longer than you want it to, but this was a great opportunity to meet a very knowledgeable and resourceful person in my line of work. Turns out we are both originally from the same area outside of Philadelphia.
I am looking forward to running again.
Monday, November 23, 2015
I took my car back into the dealer today to get the airbags done, hoping their computers would be working. Fortunately they were. A friend picked me up and we went out to breakfast and talked about our businesses, then she dropped me off at home, and I walked back to the dealer later to pick it up. Yay, done.
Today the geese were flying overhead in their V arrangements, and I saw them at the schoolyard and other places where they like to hang out. It made me sad, I miss Iris. She loved to check out the geese, and of course, she loved goose poop. Isabelle never was much of a fan of it unless Iris was around to set an example. Otherwise Isabelle would have ignored it.
I tried taking The Bella for a walk this afternoon and she didn't want to go. She wandered around in the yard, front and back, but wouldn't go down the street. I know this will be a one day at a time thing from here on. She's still eating, and she still likes to talk to us, beg for food, and sleep between us at night.
Thanksgiving is coming and it's also a reminder that at this time last year, that was when Iris first had a problem with her eye, we took her to the vet the evening before Thanksgiving hoping to get something to help her get through the holiday. At that point we were treating it like an infection, but the vet told us the possibilities, and I conveniently tucked that brain tumor idea in the back of my mind at the time. Nine months later it became real for us, but who knows how much Iris was hiding that whole time. We saw signs like her tripping while walking, drinking a lot of water, and being more lethargic around the house than usual, but she never missed a walk or a treat. Easy to chalk it up to age when you don't want to think worst case scenario.
I had to go through my pictures today too, I've been looking for images for my new website, and I flipped through hundreds of pictures of the girls. I can't play the videos when Isabelle is around because she hears Iris's voice and it upsets her.
I know eventually Isabelle will "go see Iris", but she hasn't given us any indication that she's ready. So we will continue to spoil her with salmon and chicken broth dinners, occasional trips to Dairy Queen, and weekend rides in the cart to Starbucks for a pup cup. Here's a video of Isabelle enjoying a pup cup at Starbucks this past weekend.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
I have this thing about trees out in the open, by themselves. I love to photograph them and used to paint them in pastel, but I don't have time to paint these days. My ultrahypo blog features lone trees as the post images.
I thought I'd share my photo exploration of the tree with you, for something different. I don't know if next week I'll be running again or headed to a doctor appointment. Sort of depends on how I feel when I wake up tomorrow. But for now, I can at least enjoy the close up, slow view of the things I usually run by every day. ABC: Always Bring a Camera. So here it is, close up.
|Approach on land|
|the geese have returned|
|My usual view|
|The crown is so wide it doesn't fit without a wide angle lens|
|Roots of wisdom|
|The circumference of this tree is bigger than me|
|Up close and personal|
|In awe of these limbs|
|In all directions|
|Reaching for the sky|
|How many years did it take|
|Way above my head|
|So much detail|
|Color and shadows|
|Each crack tells a story|
|In the bright sun|
|Twigs and clouds|
|More wisdom in here|
|Walls and carpet|
|Come back again|