A Girl Named Velcro, and Random Thoughts

I have puppy brain! We are announcing the arrival of the newest member of our family, Miss Velcro. She is a red tri and she was born 5 weeks ago. We will be bringing her home in another 3 weeks.

We are so excited! As soon as I saw her picture, I knew she was the one. It was love at first sight. I could not stop thinking about her, and as things unfolded with the litters at Sky Blue Aussies, she was available. We have our eye on another pup who is only 3 days old as of today, so I will fill you in as soon as we know everything is certain with our second puppy. Velcro will have a sister, and most likely she will be coming home a month after Velcro.

Running is minimal but more consistent. I'll talk about that below, after I get the shitstorm off my chest.

Recent Random Thoughts

I haven't been writing on my blog much, it's been hard with all the distractions, between puppy brain and it being Pinktober, the month where cancer and pink become intertwined and there are a lot of things going on. I spoke 3 times in one week, and I have more coming up before the month is through.

I had somewhat of an "aha" moment yesterday when I was thinking about my struggles with getting my program off the ground. It's a challenge to get people to want to do something. Everyone I talk to about it, including healthcare providers, sees the obvious and intense need for this type of education for patients and their caregivers. But there are a lot of barriers to people being able to use it in the way it is intended. I've been barking up the wrong tree trying to get it through the traditional healthcare channels.

One thing I am doing, that should help, is writing a book, which will not only have the program in it, but will also discuss why everyone needs to be in on this. Healthcare is so screwed up and it's only getting worse. Absolutely unsustainable. Yet cancer is about to overtake heart disease as the number one killer of Americans, and our healthcare costs are rising at an insane rate, and our health outcomes and general public health are getting worse. We have more obesity and diabetes, more lifestyle-related illness, and our administrative costs of running the healthcare system are exceeding our ability to put our resources into patient care and education.

Healthcare Heretic Again

I am being the healthcare heretic again, and working to make nurse groups aware of a documentary film project. Health 3.0 is a concept that goes beyond this transactional model, we call it 2.0, of healthcare where physicians or providers don't have relationships with patients, instead they are more of a factory, cranking patients through appointments in 15 minute intervals. Check this out for an example.

This short video is being mild about it. What I wish I had time to say is that all of these cancer centers and freestanding emergency rooms popping up everywhere are only being built because the current system incentivizes it. The hospitals get paid more. They can get reimbursed at a higher rate for emergency room visits and can charge a facility fee for setting foot in a cancer center, rather than an independent oncology practice. This disincentivizes patients from visiting their oncologists for follow-up visits. The hospitals can charge up to $400 for a facility fee alone (not including the doctor's bill) just for having an appointment in a room at the cancer center.

Had I realized just how slimy this whole process was, I would never have supported the local facility as I did half a decade ago. The Big Heist is right. It is a heist, to the tune of 20% of our GDP. Not acceptable. But people need to wake up and get off their obesified butts!

Remember how when we were talking about the need for the Affordable Care Act just a decade ago, lamenting the overuse of emergency rooms because people didn't have insurance for primary care and preventive medicine? Well, now we have high deductible plans again, with rates rising, driving people out of the market, but hospital executives can clean up on higher reimbursements and facility fees. And we're not doing a better job for patients. Dumb and dumber.

Here we are again. The vicious cycle of healthcare, now has consumed independent physician practices, has doctors all working as part of the giant healthcare factory, working at the whim of their employers, being told what to do by insurance companies, and nurses are understaffed and miserable again, physician suicide rates are rising, and nurses are leaving the profession because of burnout and injuries from overwork. There's no nursing shortage, just a shortage of nurses willing to put up with the abuse.

And the people who wrote the ACA: lobbyists for the pharmaceutical industry, hospital executives, and insurance companies, have ensured they will rake in big bucks while starving the masses.

General Random Thoughts about Running

I've been running about 4 days a week on the average. About 6 or 7 miles each time.
I know!!!

It feels good to run when I feel like it and I feel refreshed afterward. My friend Emma is training for her first ultra, so doing long runs with her has gotten me out on the trails. I'm so enjoying this.

I miss my hair color. I now have a streak of reddish brown in the front of my scalp. It's a deep brown with a reddish tint, but it's my natural color. People pay a lot of money to get their hair tinted to that color. Now I have just a streak of it to contrast with my grayish white. What are you gonna do?

I refuse to dye my hair. I am getting too many thumbs up when I run, and I need that for the motivation. Plus it keeps the creepos quiet. Nobody catcalls their grandma. Much preferred this way.

Oh, and one more thing- one day I was actually able to reach my mouth with the toes on my left foot. I haven't been able to do it again, must have been a good flexibility day. I'll keep working on it until I can do it consistently. Then I will post pictures.

photo credit: Donna Rohde, Sky Blue Aussies

With A Mohawk

I put 33 miles on my feet last week, mostly running. I feel like the blob. But I did stretch every day and did my weight workout, hip and abdominal exercises twice. That's a start.

I wish I had more to report. I've had more on my mind than my brain's capacity to remember, my life is ruled by little scraps of paper with miscellaneous lists everywhere.

There's so much I want to get done but everyone slows down around the holidays, so I'll take advantage of that and take a breather myself. Work is a process. RFM.

I was happy to sell another painting today. Out of the blue there's been a spike of interest in my artwork. Of all times. I'll take it. I'm not actively creating anything new, but the old favorites seem to keep selling. Cactus with a Mohawk and Peach on the Dashboard are the ones that sold.

Isabelle continues to hang in there. She sings and dances with me. Today I made an exercise video for a client who uses a walker, and as I was doing the exercise moves, Isabelle was singing. She gets excited whenever I move around like I'm dancing. The other day we sang O Holy Night together, as a duet. It was really good.

We had another squirrel visitor in the chimney, I thought Santa made an appearance two weeks early but it was the squirrel again. Dennis swears it's the same squirrel. At least this time it didn't jump in the toilet and track soot all over. I wondered if it was Iris, coming back to see her sister. The problem with old dogs is they can't tell you when they've had enough, and Isabelle doesn't seem ready to give up, most of the time. I don't want to torture her, keeping her around for our benefit, but she does still seem to enjoy our company and the few activities she can still do.

And the food. She loves the food. Dog food mixed with chicken or turkey broth and chopped up grilled salmon or baked chicken. And the pup cups, not as often now that it's so cold outside, but on a warm sunny morning we wrap her up in a blanket in the cart and go to Starbucks.

I had some good ideas for a blogpost this morning but I got so busy and the day got away from me, and I ended up forgetting my idea and riding the bike indoors because I only had a half hour. Maybe it will come back after I get through the rest of this busy week. Maybe.

On Ice

I'm doing okay. It's been a stressful week.

The good news is that I've been consistent about stretching every morning this week, I've been doing a stretching routine and I can feel the difference just walking around afterwards. My hips feel better, my gait feels smooth, and I have an easier time walking around. I didn't realize how tight I've been. I'm also getting into the habit of doing my strength training and hip exercises, and my core routine. I'm putting a few more miles in than I was, still having a little trouble with motivation but I have been more consistent this week.

The stressful parts have been worrying about Isabelle, and then the incredibly frustrating experience of redoing my business website and all the other things that go along with that.

The other night Isabelle decided to try jumping off the bed by herself. Usually she waits for one of us to help her down, but she was unusually restless that day. She gets confused at times. She took a dive off the bed, landed on her shoulder and cried. We couldn't tell that any damage was done but she was uncomfortable for a while. She's also been having some issues with incontinence, and we've been putting towels under her and trying to get her on a schedule, but every once in while we find a surprise. Fortunately we have tile floors, easy to clean.

After her fall, we didn't sleep very well, we talked about whether it's time for her to go see Iris, but she bounced back and the past two days she's been herself, no issues, and the shoulder seems to be okay. She likes hanging out with us, and I just don't feel like it's time yet. It's coming, but not yet.

Other than getting scary bills from attorneys and the anguish of waiting for quotes from different vendors and getting all the compliance stuff set up, I feel like I'm fine, it's just been awfully hard to move forward on a lot of things. I feel like once I can get my website crap out of my lap and drop it someone else's, I'll have so much more energy to concentrate on the stuff I want to get to. It's okay though.

It could be much worse, I could be back in my nurse slavery days. And according to my former coworkers, it's even worse now than it was then.

When I think of where I was 3 years ago, the stress of this is a gift. I'm doing what I love to do, building something I believe in, and knowing that when it's up and running, it will be something that really moves people's lives in a good direction. And better yet, I've been able to be a stay at home dog mom at the end of the girls lives.

Just trying to get the work stuff together and move forward, and it takes time to go through the process.

Take deep breaths, and go for a run.

Retirement!

No, not me.

It's my shoes. This is the longest lasting pair of running shoes I have ever owned, I've been using them since June of this year. They've seen me through a 50 miler in town on summer solstice, countless miles in Death Valley this summer, and everything I've done in between. Today they are being retired. I am ready to break out a new pair of running shoes and break 'em in.

I had another pathetic week with motivation again. I ran on Monday, then I did some ab work on Tuesday. And then nothing again until yesterday. I had an extremely frustrating work week, and I was exhausted by Friday. I know I would be better off running everyday, but I haven't done it yet.

It seems I have tried everything I can think of, other than hiring my own personal drill sergeant. I set my phone alarm for twice a day. I thought about signing up for a race I'd have to train for, but I knew that would be pointless. Plus maybe my own stupidity and ego would get in the way, because I still seem to think I could mentally tough it out through anything, even though my body would cave first. I can't take a marathon or short ultra seriously, because I know I can make myself do it.

So...what to do? I'll try the new shoes deal. I have new shoes, they always feel good. I ran a full hour yesterday and I struggled but I felt so much better afterward.

Today I went out on the trails at Coyote Ridge with Emma and I had such a hard time with my breath, I get winded so easily. We ended up going about 7 miles on trails but mostly walking. We took a lot of photographs though. I called it "Mullein Madness".

Tomorrow is Monday, another week.

Day 29: A Visit

It's 20 degrees outside, which is a good thing. It's been cloudy and the temperatures haven't gone so high as to melt the snow, but it hasn't been so cold that we lose Internet connection. I woke up to a cloudy morning, but it looks like they are breaking up and we could get a spot or two of blue and sunshine later.

Last night I woke up around 2:30 feeling hot, as usual, and went into the guest bedroom to lie down on the bed in there, where it was much cooler. I was just starting to find a comfortable position, and I felt a sudden weight land on the end of the bed, near my feet. Nothing could explain it except Iris. She would have jumped up on the bed with me in that exact spot if she were here. I know it was her paying us a visit.

I think she hangs out at the top of the stairs, watching over us, the way she used to. Isabelle is always looking up there, even when she knows that Dennis and I are both downstairs. Iris is watching over all of us.

Since my NaBloPoMo effort has been mostly a success, while NaRunMoMo turned out disappointingly due to my respiratory crud, I will attempt to re-start, if not all running, at least regular workouts, tomorrow. Mondays were always the beginning of my training week. I have the bike set up, and I feel like the crud has mostly subsided, except for still coughing up nasty looking stuff in the mornings.

My legs feel like they want to jump out of my skin and my body feels like it's been tied up in knots and needs to be stretched and moved, and I absolutely MUST get back to something. I have a lot more desk work to do before I can start spending more time up and active at work. I feel like a pile of melted butter from my ribs to my knees.

There's only more day in November after today, and then spring is right around the corner, on January 1. It might be too cold for Isabelle to be in the cart some days, but I can load bags of mulch in it for traction on the snow and start getting my outdoor workouts in.

Iris would not have let me idle for so long, she kept me moving all the time. I have a busy work week ahead, but I'll set my phone to prompt me every day that I need to get the workout in.

The bark tone on my phone sounds just like Iris's bark. Get your butt out the door, mom!

Day 26: Thanksgiving Morning

I woke up to this scene. An inch and still falling, 23 degrees. It's a good day to be indoors, cooking. Isabelle can't get enough of the snow. She doesn't know when it's time to come in now. I have to go out in the middle of the yard, coax her into standing up and walking toward the house. I know she'll enjoy the smells and tastes of Thanksgiving.

Last night as I was going to bed, it was raining. I'm sure that has turned to ice. A good day to not be on the road. I love the snow and how it makes everything so quiet. Part of me wants to be out running in it. But my better judgement has kicked in. It won't be a good thing, between the ice and my lungs. It's supposed to be super cold the next few days. Whenever it gets into the single digits, Internet access is poor. It will be a challenge.

Yesterday I pulled handfuls of thyme, parsley, cilantro and oregano out of the garden before it got frozen and buried by snow. I can use it to cook and make the turkey soup afterward. The only thing I don't like about winter here is the ice. Other than that, I can deal with it, even the occasional subzero temperatures. The reason we get so much ice is that our daytime temperatures in the winter tend to be above freezing, or the sun is intense enough that it melts the snow during the day and then it freezes when the sun goes down.

The other day in the grocery store I ran into an acquaintance, a woman I've met on my runs near the lake. We stopped and talked for a while. She's about my age, and we've both been struggling between being busy and in her case, injuries, and trying to motivate ourselves to do even the bare minimum. I know I need to get back to at least doing the cross training and the resistance work. I am turning into such a pile of mush.

The challenge for me is developing a program that I will stick to, which means, it has to be something I can do in just a few minutes, that doesn't require me to stop and take a block of time out of my day. But I have to be able to remember to do it. That means making it a habit. Where did my motivation go?

I do feel motivated to cook and eat today, which is a good thing...

and it's good for my little snow Buffalo too.

Brownie & The Rocket

I have not lost my mind. Even though it would appear that a woman walking the streets pushing a hybrid bike trailer/baby stroller with a bag of brown mulch, and talking into her phone might seem like she crawled out of a cave (which she did!) and is off her meds (which she isn't!)...

I am just multitasking the best I can, dictating my various business and content ideas into my email while I get some exercise.

Last week was an incredibly busy week from a networking standpoint. I had some enlightening and highly motivating conversations with several different people. And I also participated in a Google Hangout with a number of international bloggers with similar interests trying to improve the patient experience interacting with the entire healthcare system and all its players. That was so cool.

I got my tire cover for my car, so now I'm officially promoting my soon-to-be-completed but not-soon-enough project.

If you want to see what it's all about, I now have a landing page, which you are welcome to visit.

So, among all these things, I'm still struggling with finding the motivation to get some sort of consistency in running and working out. Pushing the Rocket, whether it contains Isabelle or the bag of mulch, aka "Brownie", is a good workout, and I can get a lot of my thoughts down in voice memos and email messages. Occasionally I can tweet or post to Facebook, but I haven't tried doing a moving tweetchat yet. Eventually I might have a full moving desk, Bluetooth and all, though I'm not that technologically advanced yet, by intention.

I ran twice this past week and there were three days when I got some decent miles on my feet.

I did get an awakening yesterday when one of the runners I know from NorthCoast in Cleveland contacted me, asking if I was going to be there at the race this fall. Uh, no....but I realized it's been a year. A full year of not training like an athlete. September 20th was nationals last year. So I am telling myself that September 20th is when I need to start working on consistency again, even if I am not training for anything.

It's weird how for 30 years the priority of my day was getting my run in. And after just one year of a break, it's so hard to get started again.

But I have additional motivation now that the mornings have turned noticeably cooler. I need to make sure I can fit into my pants when I need to start wearing warmer clothes. I've been wearing skirts and dresses all summer. Now, for the reality check...

I am so looking forward to the cool weather. I have been in super hot flash mode lately, with the sleep disturbances and all. Hopefully this is it, finally, the real thing, now that I've slowed down and gained enough weight, menopause can finally catch up to me and stay. Bring it on!

Winterscape

It's been another week of low motivation, cold, and ice. Yesterday I made it out for 10 miles only because there was group from the running club going, and I didn't have to wake up too early. It turned out to be a pleasant run even though there were so treacherously icy sections.

I ran with Jacob and Dan for the first 4 miles, and it was a little bit of a challenge to keep up with them, though I did it. After a potty break at the ELC, I ended up running with Valerie and Sheila for the last 6 miles. Valerie knows all the birds, and she pointed out a kingfisher perched on a powerline overhead, so I learned a new bird.

In the afternoon I did yoga with Lauren at our class and I can tell how tight I am. My quads especially, but I think running on ice has made things even tighter because I can feel all these muscles: my groin and hamstrings and calves, from bracing on the ice. I can even feel it in my upper back.

The lack of sunshine has been the hardest part. We're spoiled here, we are used to most days being sunny. I can tell how badly it's all affected me, I've been uniformly unmotivated in all aspects of my life lately.

Yesterday in yoga I realized how uncomfortable I feel carrying the extra winter weight, and it's two months to my birthday so I am going to try to back off on the bad habits and make it a goal to drop the bike tire and hips by then. I have to start working out regularly, though, two days of running a week just won't cut it. Marissa's 12 hour event is after my birthday, and I know by then I could drop most of what I gained since the fall, maybe all of it.

This morning the sky is gray, I woke up early but I have no desire to run this early, even though 24 degrees feels warm to me now. I can run in a single pair of tights. Crossing the Great Antarctic Ice Sheet to get to Lemay Avenue, the first plowed street near our house, is the big deterrent for me. Trying not to injure myself in the four blocks to there is the challenge. It's a full mile and a quarter to the Power Trail, and I just have to get from here to there, and then it's almost ice-free.

Yesterday there was an article on the front page of the Coloradoan about the ice problem in town. Our street is one of the worst areas because of the lack of drainage and we don't have much traffic, so it doesn't ever get plowed. Our ice rink is up over the curb in some places, spilling over onto the sidewalk. It gets warm during the day and melts the snow but it doesn't stay warm enough or long enough to evaporate much of the moisture, so it pools and freezes. The small streets in town are really bad. The sidewalks are death traps.

The bike paths are mostly clear except for occasional underpasses that get slick. So there isn't much choice of where to run these days. The trails are not in any shape for running unless you want to wear spikes, or you enjoy going one mile an hour over uneven patches, chunks, and icy spots. I want to go up to Horsetooth Reservoir eventually, but the past week it was too slick.

From the warmth of the woman cave I can entertain myself watching the girls on the Buffcam in the house. Here, Iris does her leap onto the couch.

It's a good thing I'm easily entertained. Whatever it takes to keep cabin fever under control...

Spring, Hook, Line & Sinker

So far this spring sucks! We're already 9 days into it, and I am going to absolutely lose my mind if we don't start getting some consistent sunshine, enough to at least melt the ice off the sidewalks.

It's slicker than snot out there, and the Great Antarctic Ice Sheet is back, thicker than ever, filling the street up over the curb, with big fat chunks that have solidified to the point of making the sidewalk ice rinks ankle twisting hazards too. It's crazy. I can handle the cold, I can handle the snow, but ice and continued gray skies drive me bonkers!! I can't go out to run or even walk. That's how bad it is.

Yesterday was the most halfway decent day we've had so far, we did get sunshine, with a cold wind, but it was just enough to melt things to the point where they didn't evaporate and overnight it froze again and a light dusting of snow fell, just enough to coat everything in a fine layer of ice.

Then this morning I tried to step out the door to the woman cave, just to go out and turn the heat on before I started working, and two steps out the door I almost fell on my ass on the patio- the entire surfaces outside-concrete patio, gravel path, snow-covered yard, and flagstone leading to the steps of the woman cave- were an ice skating rink.

I went back in and had to put on my Yak Trax just to walk across the freaking yard!

Plus it's cold, and gray. No sunshine. The sun did seem to be trying to come through the clouds for a brief time today, but never quite happened. It hit maybe 25 degrees.

And of course the girls don't understand that I can't walk them in these conditions. I would be okay if I had my Yak Trax or Microspikes on, but the girls wouldn't be safe. They are older and it would be too easy for them to twist something or fall on the ice. Not worth it. So Iris has been pouting on the couch all day, in between brief games of hedgehog toss.

Wednesday was the only day I went out all week to run, so far. I might get out this weekend, but honestly, I don't care right now. I met Cat at the fire station on Wednesday morning and we ran 9 miles on the icy bike path, in the freezing cold. I wouldn't have gone if she hadn't called me. I have been an absolute slug all week. The weather is definitely affecting my moods and motivation.

I texted Wheaties Boy to see if he could go for a run this weekend, but he's off to Florida to run the 2/3 Goofy Challenge, as a pacer in the Disney Marathon, Maybe next week we can do a few miles.

Meanwhile, my fitness takes another slide. I am just not in the mental place to sit on the bike and pedal. That's just where I am. I don't care.

This past week I had an interesting conversation with someone I used to work with, about healthcare and nursing leadership. He quit and moved on about a year after I did, and it was excellent validation to hear that the same things really do occur at all levels of an organization and hear echoes of the same sentiments I've had, about the need for professional nursing reform, about the profession dropping the ball when it came to health care reform, the failure of any overarching organization to support nurses, the higher education scam in nursing, and the inability of different players in the organization to communicate with each other at all, in any language, of business, medicine, nursing, or whatever.

It also reinforced the point that I needed to hear, which was, that good, strong leaders help to nurture people and their ideas and bring them along, but if you're in an organization that has leadership who fail to recognize or value the potential of their people, you are sunk, and you might as well get out.

I've been working on an idea recently that has to do with blogging, and this blog will not change much from what it does now, but I am seriously considering taking my health care vents and rants to a separate blog with a completely separate agenda. That blog would have a different character from this blog. When I do it I will announce it, and I hope that readers will check out the new one.

After over a year away from the corporate world, I'm still so passionate about changing the nursing profession, and I hear it from so many other people, the same thing, from nurses all over the world, and nurses need an outlet for their voices to be heard, because they aren't being heard in the workplace or by any organization that even slightly supports nursing. For all my snarling and bitching, I do have some ideas on how things could be changed. Lots of other people do too, and those ideas need to get out there in a visible way.

Otherwise it's just like being at work, everyone puts on a happy face for the powers-that-be and for the patients, but behind the nurses' station they're bitching and moaning and miserable. You can't make change within these entrenched institutions so it needs to be done from outside. So it's time to get the ball rolling. Stay tuned.

And stay warm.

Ex and Why Running

I've been taking a Blogcation lately. I haven't had much exciting to write about, so I took a break. Not intentionally, but it's been kind of a weird time, I've been off my normal routine and sort of treading water, trying to figure out what's next.

For the first time in a long long time I don't have any running goals. It's so weird, I don't know what to do with myself. I have been struggling the past few weeks with being sick but I finally have it beat, my energy is coming back, I actually ran 4 days this week in some nasty weather too. This morning I realized there is hope, I ran more than 10 miles and felt halfway decent, even though it was a slow pace through the snowy streets and death-defying icy sidewalks.

Sometimes I wonder why the city even bothers to plow the sidewalks when the conditions are like this. I guess it does help after the snow melts, but when it's cold like this, they turn into smooth, slick death traps. It's safer to risk running in the roadway even on the busy streets, than to risk falling on your butt or head by staying on the sidewalk ice skating rinks.

Christmas Day I woke up early to a beautiful sunrise, and got my butt out the door for an hour run. I headed east from home toward the Environmental Learning Center and just as I hit the 5K mark I ran into one of the guys from the running club, Mike, so I turned around and ran with him all the way back to the Power Trail, then I went home, finished with a nice 10K long run. I felt decent even though Mike runs a bit faster than I can manage at this point.

Then we got dumped on, later in the day the snow started, giving us a white Christmas afternoon, followed by a good 7 or 8 inches of snow. We were supposed to go to Denver to see my mother-in-law that day but the roads were really bad, and we postponed it until Saturday.

We did have fun with the girls on Christmas. Iris and Isabelle got a singing Elmo and they sang with it, Iris got a squirrel and a hedgehog, and Isabelle got a bed.

Since Isabelle doesn't play with toys, she thinks Iris is the toy when Iris has a toy in her mouth, so playing with toys consists of Iris with a toy in her mouth and Isabelle hanging on to Iris's butt with her teeth or herding and body blocking Iris. Isabelle's favorite activity is lying down, we thought the bed would be a good choice. But she will only get on it if we insist. Iris likes the bed too.

We also got a webcam to spy on the girls while we're gone or while I'm out in the woman cave. The "Buffcam". We've been talking about it for a while, but the other night, around 3 am we both woke up to the sound of Isabelle tumbling down the stairs. She must have missed a step in the dark, her arthritis has been getting worse over the past year and we give her medication for it, but she's been especially stiff at times, maybe from the weather change the other day. She does okay going up and down the stairs normally, but she can't jump up on the bed by herself anymore and she struggles with a lot of things in general that used to be easy for her to do. She is 13 1/2. Iris has the good genes, she still is able to jump, fly, and leap everywhere.

Isabelle was okay, she didn't seem to be hurt after her fall, our house is a split level and it's really a short flight of carpeted stairs with a padded landing, that we've placed there for that reason, but it was scary and we know she's getting to the point where she might not be able to get up and downstairs herself. We might end up having her sleep downstairs. We'd probably go sleep with her, on the futon. Today she feels much better and is flying around, fence fighting, and jumping as well as she can these days. Old dogs are so precious and heartbreaking at the same time.

Yesterday I got my snowshoes out and ran around with the girls for a short time in the snow in the backyard. I could not get motivated to go running. I could get motivated to eat and drink beer though. Upslope Craft Lager has been the brew of choice this week. It's from Boulder. It's just different, lighter than what we normally drink.

This morning 9 degrees and sunny was enough to get my butt out the door. First I took Iris for a mile and a half run, then I got out and ran east again, this time I went toward the Environmental Learning Center and once I got on the Poudre Trail, I ran into several people from the running club. I didn't read the latest posts on the Facebook page, otherwise I would have known they were out there. So I ended up doubling back with them and ran about 5 miles accompanied by them, giving me over 9 miles by the time I got home. I got a total of 10.7 miles in today, and I actually felt good. There might be hope for me after all.

I was running with Sheila and Deb from the running club, and it was really nice to have the company. I do so many miles on my own. I tend to prefer to run alone much of the time, but I do enjoy running with other people when it works out.

I also found an area with new streets where they are building houses, with a gentle grade that might be perfect for tire pulling.

I'm considering running the Prairie Dog Half Marathon in Louisville again in January if the weather is decent, that killer race I ran last January. And I'm thinking about other ways to motivate myself, like a Grand Canyon run (rim to rim to rim) either late this spring or in the fall, if I can tolerate the trails enough. For some reason running with the tire appeals to me more than doing regular runs. I can't figure it out, my motivation isn't making any sense but I'll go with it.

I won't plan any ultra races for a while but I will get myself some good strength and vertical training and see what comes of it. I have no idea what this year will look like. I pitched the Donut run as an idea, now I just have to wait for them to build the Windsor Dunkin Donuts. I know Across the Years is going on right now but I don't feel like I miss it this time, there's just no desire to do it now.

I have my work cut out for me over the next month, I have two certifications I need to renew so I'll be doing some studying and getting back to work after the New Year. I need to keep the momentum going in my workouts so I feel human. I do feel better after I run, there is a reason I've done this for 31 years. But just like any new runner, lately I've had my ex- and why moments. I'm pretty sure they're temporary though. Maybe I can make them go away with enough ZZZZs.

Readin, Rite-in, Runnin

It's been ridiculously cold the past few days and I'm looking forward to it warming up. I managed to keep my running and motivation streak alive through the cold snap. Just one day indoors on the bike, other than that it was an hour a day of running. 

I'm finally getting around to doing some reading I've been wanting to do, some books on health care policy that are really not bad, and another one sort of for fun that is more of a psychology book. No this is not recreational reading, it all has a purpose, feeding my thoughts on health care for the writing I'm doing. 

Just like with running, every so often I hit the wall mentally with writing, the past two days it's almost like my brain circuits froze up and everything that's coming out if garbage. But give it a few days to recharge and I'll be back at it.

I cooked lentil soup with kale the other day that was really good, and today I made a sweet potato black bean stew with shredded pork that is decadent but awesome. I've been into the comfort food cooking. It's too cold for salads right now. 

Iris doesn't seem to mind the cold, I trimmed the hair between the pads on her paws so she wouldn't get ice balls when we walk. Isabelle doesn't want to go out to walk, but she's happy to lie down in the snow in the backyard, even on the coldest days. 

The motivation is better, even though it's still a struggle every day to get out there. I figure I'll go through the motion until I find the autopilot button again. Probably buried underneath a few extra pounds of comfort food.

Two Dogs. Seven Miles. Nine Degrees.

This morning I woke up too early, and the temperature was 5 degrees outside the kitchen window when I started the coffee. I had a doctor appointment first thing, and I was fasting because I wanted to get all my labs drawn right after I saw her, and get it over with.

I'll see what my labs looked like later this week, but the appointment went well, no surprises, I haven't shrunk any, I am a couple of pounds heavier than last year, but that's where I'm headed these days. I told her about the brain fog, we're checking my thyroid labs and I'll get a thyroid ultrasound next week to see if anything has changed with my little nodule friend in there, but overall, nothing exciting.

I blew off my run yesterday, it was cold and breezy and I had one of those "don't wanna" days. So I didn't. I ran a grand total of 18 miles last week. My motivation has been in the toilet. It's the cold weather. I am such a desert rat, which really should be my code word for wimp.

Monday starts my new week as far as my training goes, so I had to start fresh today. There were no excuses despite a predicted high temperature of 10. Just last week, I discovered, to my great horror, that my wind pants that fit me last year wouldn't come up over my hips. I was without windpants, unless I wanted to swallow the bitter pill of admitting that my butt is getting FAT and I need to buy a larger size.

I was lamenting my expansion to my friend Keith on the phone Sunday afternoon and she said maybe I was retaining fluid and that's why my pants didn't fit. I asked her, "Retaining fluid in my BUTT?!!"

I do have a big pair of windpants, but they used to belong to Dennis, and they are too long for me and I have to do all sorts of weird adjustments before I can wear them. I just couldn't believe it, that my butt has gotten that much bigger since last year. I dug the small pants out of the closet again, loosened the drawstring all the way, stared into the crotch and down the legs, and fervently believed they were going to fit.

POOF! Suddenly my butt was neatly tucked into them, no problem pulling them over my hips, even with my thick tights on. They fit!

Okay, as outlandish as it sounded, maybe Keith was right. Maybe it is possible to retain fluid in your butt. Or maybe I was so brain fogged last week that I didn't loosen the toggle on the drawstring enough. Or maybe I was constipated. It is constipation awareness month, after all.

Whatever the reason was, my pants fit and I no longer had any excuse to stay indoors. Even if the temperature was nine degrees with a -2 windchill.

I got dressed and then asked the girls if they wanted to go. Iris bounced around until I put her leash on, and she barked until we went outside. Isabelle came down to see what the commotion was, and as soon as I put the leash on her, she sat down in her spot and resisted, absolutely refused to move. She got that wimpy look on her face and I wasn't about to make her go out in 9 degree weather if I couldn't even motivate myself all weekend when it was warmer than that!

I took Iris. Isabelle was content to win the cute Buffalo contest.

Iris had an ice beard after a mile, and we did three miles together before I decided to take her home. I wanted to run faster. She got mad and started barking at me as soon as I took her in the house and went back out to finish my run. Isabelle was content to stay in her position.

I did seven miles total, including some strides once I felt warm enough and the wind was at my back. When I got home, I did my abdominal workout, too.

I was vindicated.

The woman cave is coming along. Dennis is getting plenty of supervision by the Buffaloes. It is going to be the BEST woman cave ever!

I finally got a lot of loose ends cleared up, little projects and things I needed to finish, to pave the way for focusing on the next year's goals. I now have two "projects" to focus on, one is staying up with my writing, since I have a couple of regular commitments in addition to my blogs, and studying for my oncology certification exam, and then there's always running & training. But it feels nice to have narrowed things down to just a few instead of having scattered unfinished business everywhere.

I like it when it’s simple. Give me pants that fit when it's 9 degrees, and I can do anything.

Getting excited...

Just got back from a strong 34 mile run around the lakes in Loveland. It was warmer today, close to 80 degrees. I wore a tank top and shorts for the first time all year, no gloves, no hat, no tights, no multiple layers of shirts and jackets. I felt so light!

Funny how 80 degrees doesn't feel even close to hot for me anymore. I could have easily dressed with a few layers, but I need to expose my skin a little before Death Valley so I don't fry out there. I ran well, I can feel myself getting stronger from the frequent long runs.

I had a post-run feeding frenzy afterwards. For some reason I was craving pizza, which is something I rarely like to eat anymore. But after today's run it sounded so good, I called Dennis and asked him if he wanted pizza tonight, and he thought that was a good idea. I ordered it, and couldn't decide what I wanted, so I ended up ordering two different large pizzas. I have no idea why. I think my brain was temporarily disconnected. Looks like we'll be eating pizza leftovers for a while, at least through the weekend.











This week is looking like it will end up somewhere around 120 miles. I have two shorter runs planned this weekend on hills, tomorrow I'll run 20 miles on hills at Horsetooth, part of it with Cat, Dave, and Pablo.

Yesterday I gave two short slide presentations, one at Poudre Valley Hospital and one at Medical Center of the Rockies, here is a link to the slide show, without the music. The presentation was about the Save Change program, raising funds for the Cancer Center, trying to increase employee involvement in Save Change.











There is no shortage of motivation in our household.

I started out my day excited because I heard from a running friend who is a fellow Badwater junkie, and she has her own special solo excursion planned across the valley a week after I do my double. I won't say much because she is keeping it sort of quiet but I am very excited for her and I hope she has a successful adventure, knowing her, it will not only be a success but an amazing athletic feat.

My enthusiasm for her adventure, and my own, got me going this morning. I kept thinking about how it feels to be out there, this little speck under the huge blue sky, and all the rocks and color everywhere. And the intense heat. And feeling so humbled by the landscape, and the history, and the elements.

SOMEONE TIE ME DOWN BEFORE I PUT A HOLE THROUGH THE ROOF!

My next order of business is getting the equipment lists organized and figuring out all the loose ends that need to be finished before we leave in July, and ordering whatever supplies and equipment (mostly foot-related) that I think I'll need.

I will be starting my serious heat training in the sauna after I get back from Arizona in a few weeks. I've been going twice a week just to get a little taste of the heat and I think I'll be fine with the 100 degree temperatures they are having in Arizona now. My Arizona friend Don Meyer is going to come out to the park while I'm running that weekend and keep me company for some of the miles, which will be a blast!

There are really only about 6 more weeks of intense training for Badwater before I start to taper. It happens so fast. So much to do, so little time. I haven't even started to taper and I'm already bouncing off the walls! That means I need to run more. See you later...

Time to Get Tough Again!

It's been a long, mild fall and now reality has set in, and I have to stop being a fair weather runner and get tough again. This is an adjustment I have to make every year. This year it's taken until the middle of November, so I can't complain about that. I love hot weather, but I also love seasons, and I wouldn't want to live and train anywhere else but here in Fort Collins, so I have to deal with a little cold, ice and snow for a short portion of each year.

I lucked out last week, we got our first snow and I was on my rest week, so I really didn't have to deal with it. But now it's Monday morning of my new training week, and I need to get some miles in, and I do have to deal with it. It's snowing this morning and I'm hesitating but I know once I get out there and get warmed up I will remember the world of winter running, that I missed so much all those years in Arizona!

It always amazes me when I'm asked how I train through the winter. Running in the snow and ice seem to be unimaginable to so many people. I don't like to be cold or wet, but I would go crazy if I didn't go outside for months. I have never owned a treadmill. There are times when I've wished I had one, but I can count the number of times I wish for that every winter on one hand.

I do love running in winter, even if the snow and ice make you slow down, run more flat-footed, and you have to watch your step. But it's so beautiful running in the white stuff, the ice crystals in the air, and the silence that the snow brings as it covers everything. I also love how refreshing the cool air is, and how good I feel when I'm finished with my workout.

I lived in Gunnison and Crested Butte for about 7 years, so I learned how to deal with cold weather. I happen to have great memories of running in blizzards and 20 degrees below zero, breathing air with so many ice crystals in it, it would make you gag. I learned to deal with it both physically and mentally, and it's much more mental than physical.

Like I've said before, you don't get extra points at the pearly gates for running fast, but for running outside during the winter, I'm almost 100% sure you do.

I hear a lot of complaints about winter running, and I think they are excuses. It takes time for your body to warm up. Think about it. Your body temperature is somewhere around 98 degrees. You live indoors in an environment that is probably 60-70 degrees. So when you step outside into 30 degree or colder air, it's going to be a shock. You have to give your body time to warm up.

Most people who "exercise" never get out there long enough to give their bodies time to adequately warm up and adjust to the temperature gradient. That's another reason why people need to sustain a workout for at least 30, preferably 60 minutes to really get fitness benefits. It takes a good 15-20 minutes, or more on colder days, to really warm up and adjust. There's an adjustment period. What a bummer that so many people never stay out long enough to make the adjustment, so they never get to the point where they can enjoy their workout.

I have tried different strategies for the coldest days. The most frequent problem/excuse I hear is: breathing the cold air hurts my lungs. First of all that means you are starting out too hard. If you have to gasp really hard and you're not warmed up, yes the cold air will be a shock to your warm mouth and throat and upper respiratory tract. Start out easier!

You can cover your face with some sort of mask or bandana if that helps, but then it gets wet and freezes, so it seems kind of pointless to me.

I only cover my face when the wind chill or air temperature are so cold that it freezes my skin. Some people like to put vaseline on or something to protect their skin. If it's so cold that I'm seriously risking frostbite, those are the days I consider staying inside and getting on my bike trainer.

Another problem/excuse I hear is: My feet get cold. Wearing thick socks keeps you from being able to move your toes around in your shoes, there's no room for a layer of warm air to build up, and your toes stay frozen, until they slowly start to warm up and become excruciatingly painful until they do warm up. I have tried all kinds of things: neoprene socks, putting chile pepper seeds in my socks and in between my toes, and wearing shoes that are a half size bigger. For me, wearing thin socks helps more than anything.

I think all these strategies work, except the chile seeds, they can actually burn your skin temporarily, which creates an additional source of pain. But some people swear by them.

Problem/Excuse # 3 My hands get cold. Try mittens. Allowing room for warm air to build up around your hands will help. Or pull your hands inside your sleeves. If you have gloves, pull your fingers into the palm of the glove until they warm up. Usually by the time you get warmed up your hands are sweating enough that you don't need the gloves anymore.

Problem/Excuse # 4 The roads are icy, the footing is bad. Running more flat footed helps, slowing your stride down helps, running with a slightly wider stance makes you more stable too. I use Yak Trax on the iciest conditions, and they are a pain in the butt when you have to stop and re-adjust them occasionally, but they work. I can run The Buffaloes on icy streets in the Yak Trax and even when they pull me, I don't slip at all.

In Fort Collins we have the bike paths, which usually get plowed before the streets. Also, if you run in the fresh, untracked snow, the footing tends to be better than running on tire tracks, which get packed down and slick. Just be careful of ice hidden underneath fresh snow.

Problem/Excuse # 5 I don't mind the cold, but the wind is so unpleasant. Here in the Front Range area we have an abundance of wind in the cooler months. It's something you have to get used to. I think wind is a gift from the weather gods. You have to look at it with a positive frame of mind. Running with the wind makes you faster, and running against the wind makes you stronger. You can't lose.

My friend Cat complained to me about the wind recently. I couldn't believe it came from her because she's one of the toughest runners I've ever known, and she never lets anything stop her from running. I am pretty sure she didn't mean it.

Problem/Excuse # 6 I don't like to be cold. Then why are you living in a cold place? The solution is to dress warm. Wear layers. It always amazes me to see people out in shorts and running bras or t-shirts when it's 40 degrees outside. If it's below freezing, I'm the one dressed up like a snowman, I've got six layers on top and three on the bottom, and I can barely bend my knees and elbows because I've got so much clothing on.

Seriously, if you spend a lot of energy trying to stay warm, you'll get tired pretty fast. I like to overdress, not only because I train for races in hot environments, but also because I like to conserve my energy. Yes you do sweat and no matter how high-tech your clothing is, you will have some wet layers close to your skin, but if you have enough clothes on, the wind won't cool those wet layers down and you'll stay warm.

Problem/Excuse #7 It gets dark too early, there's not enough daylight. WAAAAH! First of all, the snow reflects light, so it's easier to see at night, and there's less traffic on the roads, and in the winter, there tend to be fewer creepos and weirdos out and about, so find a training partner and make an agreement to keep each other motivated through the winter, and get out there when it's dark and run.

The other things to remember in winter: sunscreen, a hat, and sunglasses. The glare and the reflection make the sun equally if not more intense than in the summer, so don't forget to cover up any skin that's exposed. I need to do a better job of remembering that, everyone thinks I'm a skier because of my raccoon eyes from my sunglasses.

When they ask me if I was skiing, it always catches me by surprise, and I usually look at them like they said something in some language I don't understand. When I tell them I run, they proceed through every question I just answered in this post.

Enough about winter running. Yes, I hope it's a short winter. I'm looking out the window, seeing the blobs of snow fall off the trees, knowing I need to get out there, and I'm not moving too fast.

It's time to go practice what I preach.