Day 4, $#!% Just Got Real...

Summer ended today, around 11:30 am.

I was headed out the door for my run and the forecast calls for rain mixed with snow tonight, and it was about 60 degrees when I left the house, down from the 70s yesterday. The wind was picking up, clouds were moving in, and I felt a few cold drops falling on me even with the sunshine and mixed clouds, and warm temperatures.

Now it's sprinkling, a good afternoon maybe for a nap since my productivity has fizzled out after waking up at 4 again, no 3:57, to be precise. I teach my class tonight and then tomorrow have to be in Denver early.

I ran 50 minutes today, got a little over 5 miles in, and I feel like if I can get back to doing an hour a day by the end of the week, it will be progress. I was up to nearly an hour and a half most days before I got sick. I feel completely wiped out on my runs, even today.

No luck with blogger either. Each day, it looks more like it's going to upload the photos, and then it poops out. Not sure if it's a problem with Windows 10 or what, but it was doing it before I got this new laptop. So I have no idea what it is. Dammit Blogger! I have so many pictures I want to share!

Day 3 NaRunBloPoMoMo

Today was a little better. I still don't have a lot of energy, but I did manage to get out for 5 miles and dragged my butt around the lake. It was hot! This is supposed to be our last beautiful fall day, tomorrow night it is supposed to snow. I picked a big bowl of raspberries today. Last ones of the season.

They are going to back off on my dad's chemo dose by 50%. He's been improving so they are going to try to get him off of it and see what happens. That the best news of all. I'm still worried, but I hope this goes well. He had so much more energy when I saw him last month.

I need to get back to work, this will be short one today. See you tomorrow...and whatever was the issue with Blogger, it's not solved, but it's acting different than the last 2 days. I am holding out hope for it to get fixed...until then, just text. Sorry!

Day Two NaRunMoMo, What Doesn't Kill Me...

The time change is killing me.

Usually it wouldn't be a problem in the fall since you get an extra hour of sleep. But I keep waking up at 4 something a.m. and can't get to sleep until late.

Today was one of those days where you enter into it with good intentions and everything goes on a tangent. I did get a few things done that needed to be finished, and it's really not all that bad, but it totally screwed me up being half brain dead anyway. What happened?

1. Picking up my new laptop from the Geeks. I didn't go to the original Geek Squad. I have never used the Geeks before, I can usually manage on my own. But this time I'm busy, distracted, irritable, impatient, and I didn't feel like messing with it. Windows 10 will take some getting used to, as well as the new keyboard.

Plus they had some private information, my temporary password for some of the stuff on the computer, and email and phone number around the purchase of my laptop, and they left it sitting there on the counter. I happened to look back as I was walking out of the store, and my info was just sitting there on the counter next to the register, while they were ringing up more customers. I walked back up to the counter and looked at the clerk straight in the eye and said, "If you're not going to shred this, then at least put it somewhere so it's not in plain view." Oh I was pissed. I thought about raising even more hell, but I'll save my energy.

2. Getting caught up in social media distractions. Some of this was productive but it was very time consuming.

3. Issues with Blogger. I can't get photos to upload. And I'm an idiot because I just got a new computer today and I am way behind the learning curve here, between Windows 10 and my brain fog. So again, my apologies, but until I figure out what's wrong there will be text-only posts here.

4. Finishing up some continuing ed classes and stuff I had to do for certifications, etc. Took way too long.

5. Not getting out to run until 4 pm, when I'd already been up for 12 hours and working for 11.

So I went for a mile run, which took me 12 minutes and 27 seconds, and I was looking at my watch the whole time, it was the longest mile I have ever run in my life. I didn't think I could get through it without walking. Somehow I did, but I decided it was enough. I'll do better tomorrow. I followed it up by pushing Isabelle 2 miles in the cart. And then it was dark outside.

I already warned Dennis who is on his way home, that I had a day and I need to be chill. I feel sort of like I used to after those 12 hour shifts at the hospital, where I simply could not function or interact with another human being until I re-established the safe zone, the energy field around me, because I felt so stripped bare.

I haven't had a day like this in nearly 2 years, so that's good. But I don't want to have any more of them.

So now I need food. But at least I got through Day Two of the double challenge, running and blogposting. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better and can have a more balanced day.

Oh by the way one of our neighbors saw me pushing The Bella in the cart and told me when he dies, he wants to come back as my dog. That was the highlight of my day.

Day One of NaRunMoMo

My sense of smell returned this morning. I forgot that that's one of the joys of fall, smelling the leaves and earthy stuff. Fortunately we still have enough green foliage around that it should last a while longer.

Woke up at 4:24 am, couldn't figure out why except I heard a CLUNK in the bedroom. It was Isabelle, walking around in the dark, bumping into walls and knocking things over. Dennis woke up and carried her downstairs, thinking she had to go outside. Having a geriatric dog means you never know what kind of surprise might squish between your toes if you get up in the dark...

I went to bed at 10 last night, late for me, but then I realized we changed the clocks and it was really 5:24, close to my usual wake up time. Dennis went back to bed and I got up and made coffee, and came out to the cave. Isabelle seemed content to lie in the cold grass sniffing the air in the middle of the backyard.

For some reason my 4 year old coal-fired laptop with the 8 track drive in it has been having issues and I am about ready to spring for a new one. I saw a cool one with dual floppy disk drives, what do you think? I am having issues with uploading photos so I might have to add the pictures later. It could be an issue with Blogger today, which would really be annoying since it is officially NaBloPoMo, but my laptop really has been acting up. So I apologize if you get a bland text-only blogpost today. Should be fixed within 24 hours.

The Fort Collins Running Club was having its Tortoise & Hare 5K this morning and I try to attend as many as I can, I've been a member of the club for a gazillion years. But lately they've been getting 150 people at these things and I am not one for crowds. We used to have 10, maybe 20 people show up. It's great that the club membership has grown and so many more people are involved. I prefer it that way, it's just that I don't like running with so many people.

I know, most road races have more like thousands. If I wanted to be around crowds I would sign up for them.

This morning's event was at Warren Park which happens to be exactly a mile from my house. And it isn't cold, it was 40 degrees when I woke up and didn't dip much below that even at sunrise. I haven't run since October 21, the day I woke up with this crud.

I showed up and there weren't a lot of people, but then a few minutes later it was packed. The runners start according to their handicap time, so I wasn't going until 21 minutes after the hour. I had time to socialize. I lined up to start with my friend Joanne, we've never been in the same wave before but we ran together most of the way and finished pretty close in time.

I actually ran faster than I thought I could. I took off at a brisk pace but not too hard, and tried to maintain that. At the first mile mark I hit it in 9:12 which surprised me, because I felt comfortable. I haven't been running anywhere that fast on my runs lately, but we got through mile 2 in 9 something, and then I felt like I could push it a little harder in the last mile.

Ended up with a 27:23, which I figured out later is 8:50 a mile average pace. I honestly didn't believe I could even run one mile at that pace right now. Having an 8 before my pace is something I never would have expected at this point.

I ran one mile to the park and one mile home, so I ended up with just over 5 miles of running today, with a little extra effort. That's part of NaRunMoMo, picking up the intensity twice a week. Mission accomplished, for today. 29 days to go.

Boo! It's NaRunMoMo!

Yes, it's Halloween and I won't be out running all day in this beautiful weather we've been having, instead I'm indoors with the cookies. Not yo mama's cookies and milk,though...whatever this bug is that I caught in Arizona, it's got a grip on me. I'm coughing up lung cookies* and still feeling half wiped out.

Since getting back from Tucson I've been in a different type of work mode, though my energy has been only half of what it is normally. I've been working on marketing plans, social media stuff, some continuing education classes that I've put off for months, and thinking about the growing pile of edits I need to get started on, with a new website and associated busywork. The Bella has been at my feet, enjoying the sunshine in the woman cave.

We had our first frost this past week and the flowers haven't figured it out yet. Neither have the raspberries, the left side of the raspberry patch decided to bloom late this year and we've had some delicious berries as a second crop. That will come to a halt any minute, but it's been a nice surprise.

I walked a few times this week and the longest I went was about 3 miles pushing The Bella in the cart, and I didn't have much left afterwards.

I was planning to run with one of my new running partners, Colleen, this weekend, but I think it's going to be another week before that happens. If my energy comes back I might be able to run 20 or 30 minutes by tomorrow or Monday.

Color everywhere, even in the parking lots.

We're coming up on November and as of tomorrow not only will we have changed the clocks, but it's the start of NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo. Wondering if I should at least try to maintain some consistency since that is what I'll be doing in my work life.

If you're not familiar with those, they are National Novel Writing Month and National Blog Posting Month. I don't have anything that could be a novel, unless you count my past experience in nursing, but BloPoMo is right up my alley. Since I've been so lax in posting here this might help me get back to it!

the only way it will all be here, on this blog, is if I can make it #NaRunMoMo too...natonal running motivation month. Which is exactly what I need. As you can tell, I'm making this up as I write this post...

In my case, I'll be lucky to start with ten minutes a day tomorrow. But what the hell. Sounds like a good idea. I've never been much of a running streak type of person, it goes against better judgment in my opinion, but at this point in my life, I need to move regularly, and at a faster pace than a waddle, so it might be just what the doctor ordered. This doctor, anyway.
*forgive me I'm a former ICU nurse and I just can't help myself.

Whirlwind in the Desert: BRA Day

I'm home, looking at the cool fall colors, after a week in Arizona. I managed to catch a nasty cold, probably on the flight down there, so I'm sniffling, hacking and snorting my way through the day, surrounded by piles of tissue and tea cups.

This blogpost isn't much about running, although I'm proud to announce that I have now been consistent with running most days of the week for the past 6 weeks. This coming week I'm sure I will cut back in order to get over this crud, but I feel like I've finally reached a point where the running is habitual again. I was up to nearly an hour and a half of running 4 or 5 days a week with some 2 hour runs thrown in there. Still no interest in ending my current hiatus from doing any running events, but we'll see how that goes...

I went down to Scottsdale to visit my dad and stepmom, and speak at an event in Tucson. Wednesday October 21 was BRA Day, Breast Reconstruction Awareness Day. It's intended to educate women about a full range of options for breast reconstruction following mastectomy.

Most women don't find out that they have a range of procedures to choose from that include using their own tissue to reconstruct breasts after a mastectomy, often they rush into immediate reconstruction with expanders and then implants, without being informed about all the possibilities because of microsurgical techniques that allow the patient's own fat and skin to be harvested and a blood supply established to create a more natural appearing breast.

More about that in a few... I flew down and the weather was un-Arizona-like. It rained like hell two nights in a row, a deluge of rain and hail in different parts of the valley. I ran early Monday morning with my running friend Chris and another friend of his on the canal, before the sun came up. It felt more Florida than Arizona with the humidity.

I hung out with my dad and stepmom, my dad is doing somewhat better and it appears that chemo is working. We won't go into the details of the possibility of relapse, which is fairly high, but he's feeling better and things are going well overall. Things are looking up now. It's great to see him getting his old energy back. Not quite himself, but he's improved dramatically.

I met with a social media expert while I was down there and will be using his services as I move forward with my business endeavors. I finished a big chunk of work before I left and now I'm switching gears from developing content to marketing.

Then it was time to go to Tucson for BRA Day. I met Terri online, now I can't even remember the exact circumstances of our connection but we started corresponding last summer and Terri wanted to make a BRA Day event happen in Tucson and she perservered along with the help of some nurses and social workers in Tucson who convinced the powers-that-be that it would be a worthwhile event to host.

Terri assembled a panel of speakers and the backing of local businesses to support the event and it came together despite many hiccups and speedbumps along the way. I agreed to help in any way I could despite being out of town.

We set it all up in the lobby of the U of A Cancer Center, which looks and feels remarkably similar to the Cancer Center we have here in Fort Collins. It was dumping rain as we carried all the supplies and donated gifts from Terri's car to the lobby of the Cancer Center.

We didn't have a room, podium, or formal presentation set-up, just some lobby furniture and a screen, and a microphone. But we did it, and it worked. One of the nursing staff members bought the refreshments herself. Local businesses donated prizes. Terri's son recorded all he could on the Periscope app on my phone. Of course my phone battery died even with the extra battery pack, so we didn't get to record most of the speakers. We have a learning curve with Periscope, which has some glitches itself.

I spoke on "Reconstructing Well-Being", about some of the overall wellness, prehabilitation and lifelong habits to adopt regardless of where a person might be with regards to cancer treatment and reconstruction decisions. Terri talked about her experience as a patient, there were nurses, social workers, tattoo artists, a plastic surgeon's PA and a breast surgeon there. Topics ranged from sexuality to surgical options to cosmetic appearance to more personal experiences from a patient who is also a nurse.

We had no idea how many people might show up for the event but we hoped it would be at least a couple of dozen. As it turned out we had a good 40-50 people in attendance. Afterwards we cleaned up and moved the furniture back to where it was, and it was time to party!

Afterwards four of us, the three nurses and Terri, went out to a Mexican restaurant for food and margaritas and got serenaded by a mariachi band, and decompressed. It is so amazing how every health system, nurses, cancer centers, and administration work the same everywhere.

This event only happened because of the work of Terri, a patient advocate, and her backing by a nurse and social worker who wanted to do something needed, useful, important, and meaningful for patients. It wouldn't have happened otherwise.

This is what it takes, people need to speak up and be vocal. Advocating for yourself as a patient, and for others who face similar experiences, as Terri does, and health care workers advocating for patients' needs and filling the gaps in information and care, all of that only happens at the grassroots level. With the corporatization of health care, the people up high are running a business. To use an overused term, there is a disconnect yes- I hate cliches too - between the business of health care and the service of health care. Service is what it needs to be about, otherwise we won't be serving anyone's best interest except the people who stand to profit.

The only way to make things work for the people who need the services is to do the footwork, be vocal, don't back down, and persist. It takes effort to make worthwhile things happen, and if at first it doesn't fit, make it fit.

Just like you have to move and make some effort to improve your health, changing the way the system works will take real effort toward movement. Sedentary habits won't create change.

Second Wind

I'm back.

There really wasn't much to talk about running wise until now. I am 4 weeks into a consistent 4-5 day a week running routine and making progress. This weekend I did two back to back two hour runs. And felt pretty good.

The Great Squirrel Caper happened on Saturday night to keep us on our toes. Isabelle missed the entire thing, she was sitting in the backyard grass, oblivious to the chaos in the basement.

First, we heard something in the chimney. We tried to ignore it, thinking it was a bird. Then it got louder and more frantic. We decided it was better to check it out now than wait until we smelled it. Dennis got a big garbage bag and opened the cover and flue from the fireplace downstairs. He waited for the bird to come down.

And a squirrel flew out of the fireplace.

It ran all over the room, Dennis chased it with a broom, trying to figure out how to catch it. It ran into the bathroom, jumped in the toilet, ran behind the door where Dennis thought he had it trapped, but it climbed up the back side of the door and flew over the top back into the basement.

It had soot all over its paws and then they were wet, so it tracked black squirrel prints all over the carpet and the walls and everywhere it went.

Finally Dennis got the window open and managed to get the squirrel to go out the window.
A little Saturday night excitement at our house!

I've been busy trying to get the last bit of content written before I go to Arizona next week. Will be speaking at BRA Day in Tucson. And visiting my dad and stepmom, running with an new/old running buddy and so on. My dad is starting to feel a little better and we're hopeful that the chemo will be behind him before too long. It's too soon to tell but it looks good.

That's really all the news I have now. I'm back to running but I have to say that's tentative because it's only been 4 weeks and believe me it's been a struggle some days. I wan to to run 5 days a week but sometimes it only happens on 4 days. That's okay. I am still doing a lot of walking and pushing Bella in the cart. I use that as my brain breaks from working.

I am running again, though, and I'm at the point where I can start to think about running adventure. Who knows what my crazy brain will think up next? Once I finish purging my brain onto the keyboard, if I have any brain cells left at all, I'm sure it will be creative. Halloween is coming, look out...