Obesification: Soccer Parents

I am amazed at the excuses people make for not having time to exercise. The other day I was talking to a woman who told me that she wishes she could lose weight but she's too busy with her work schedule and her kids' soccer schedules.

This morning I went for a run where I go past a schoolyard that is often filled with kids playing soccer. The parents park alongside the street during the practice. I am always amazed at the number of people I see, sitting in their cars, sometimes running the engines, presumably for air conditioning, and texting.

When I first ran by, there was a VERY overweight woman sitting in her front seat, texting away. On my way home, about an hour later, she was still there, sitting in the car, still texting. I think it's a safe bet she hadn't moved the entire time.

In that hour, she could have gotten up and walked around the soccer field, getting some good exercise. I think her kid would have respected her more for doing that.

People like that woman in the car are contributing to the enrichment of pharmaceutical and hospital executives and sucking the life out of the rest of us.

Make My Day: Pricks in Corvettes and Other Freaks of Nature

After last Friday's reality check with fatigue, I decided to make the week my easy week and just bag the rest of the weekend's workouts. So much for 100 miles, I'm not ready yet. That's okay.

I worked on things around the house and got some writing done instead. This week I'm sticking with 80ish miles and regular workouts, plus the Estes Park half marathon this Sunday.

Yesterday I had a decent 10 mile run where I pushed the pace a little, not too hard, but on the Power Trail hills. I felt strong. I spent the afternoon working, and for a couple of hours I was in the house listening to Iris bark herself hoarse while the repairman worked on the dishwasher. The heater died. The cost to fix it was half the cost of a new dishwasher. But it was easier to just get it fixed right now. Of course we have to wait a week for the part to come in. So I'll be doing more dishes...I hate doing dishes.

This morning I felt like going up to Horsetooth, but not for a long hill run, just a short one on the roads. I did a simple out and back from Rotary Park to the bottom the hill below Horsetooth Dam. It's 7.6 miles and I did it under 1:12. It has 1200 feet of vertical gain, and the same of descent.

It was a warm morning, and in one spot there was some road work where there were cones and it was a one lane stretch, so they had cars waiting to go by. The road workers flagged me by the first time, told me to just run the shoulder, I didn't have to stop. I felt fantastic on the run, I was averaging 11 minute pace on the hills, and if you saw these hills, 11 minute pace is damn good. I was between 7:30s and 8:30s on the downhill sections. I figured I'd do a short hill workout since the half marathon has it's share of hills this Sunday.

This afternoon when it gets warm I'll do more easy miles and get some heat training in.

This morning's hill run was pleasant most of the way. On the way back, as I was running the last big downhill off of Maniac, headed toward the road work site, a black Corvette passed me and I don't know much about muscle cars, but they can be used to make weird noises with the muffler or something.

These two guys were in the car and I was pushing pretty hard, in my own world, and as they drove by they made some kind of weird noise with the muffler. They weren't close enough to anything to be downshifting or putting on the brakes, it was pretty clear they did it to be assholes. It worked, it made me jump.

Whatever, they just proved that the size of their balls exceed the size of their brains. Assholes. I kept on going and about a half mile later I reached the construction zone. There was long line of cars waiting to pass, but I was on the shoulder and they flagged me by again. About a quarter of a mile later I was about to make the sharp left slightly uphill to go toward Dixon Dam and run up the last big hill to Rotary Park, and the cars were going by in a line. The corvette with the two pricks in it was one of the last cars, it was following the other cars, slowly.

When they finally had a clear stretch of road, just before the crest of the hill to Dixon Dam, they passed me again, and this time they really revved the engine. Boneheads. A few feet later, slamming on the brakes because of the sharp curves there at the dam. If they would have wrecked too f***ing bad, I wouldn't have gone diving into the reservoir to rescue them. Besides, my TNCC (trauma nursing certification) expired. Guess they'd just have to wait for their Darwin Award.

The other thing that I noticed on my run today, that I haven't seen too much of in this spot, is dumb drivers texting or reading their phone screens while driving up and around the curves on County Road 38E, from southwest Fort Collins up to Horsetooth Reservoir at the dam there. There are tons of bicyclists and runners on the shoulder every day in the summer.

These crazy idiot drivers are going around these curves not paying attention to the lines at the shoulder, and playing with their phones. Makes me want to smack their car with a stick or something, to wake them up. But there are no sticks. No trees. Maybe I should start throwing rocks.

So then on the way home, I was driving down Drake and at the stoplight at Taft Hill Road, this guy pulls up next to me in a red Corvette, he'd been going fast and had to slam on the brakes to stop. I thought, Not another prick in a Corvette! But it was true. There he was, in a bright red corvette with matching ear gauges. Big ones.

Have I mentioned how much ear gauges freak me out? I didn't even know what those things were, hadn't even noticed them, until a few months ago. Then it seemed like I saw them everywhere. I guess I didn't notice the small ones, if you're not looking closely they just look like earrings. But the big ones are hard to miss, without looking at least twice.

It's a college town. But lately it seems like I've been seeing more of them or I'm just more aware. I've also seen a lot of stretched earlobes. I would think these 20 something guys with the big floppy stretched out earlobes are going to be in for a rude awakening if in another few years they either go looking for a job, or they end up with a baby, who will be grabbing at those things and likely tear them out.

Just another way to keep plastic surgeons in business. I bet they'll be asking for insurance coverage for the cosmetic surgery to fix them, too. I wonder if infectious disease doctors have seen a lot of cases of cellulitis from those things getting infected. I bet they have.

I must be getting old.

Rantin' N Raven

Another chilling day, it was in the mid-twenties all morning and I was going to go to the track, but then changed my mind and decided to do fartlek instead. That was a good choice because I ended up doing a little more work than I would have on the track. I took the girls for 2 miles first. Isabelle wanted to lie down in the snow and eat it more than she wanted to run. Iris barked at me when I went out the door again on my own, but she got over it.

It's been so gray lately. Our sunshine has gone away. It makes people grumpy. Just in time for another rant on my favorite rant topic of all: cell phones.

How many times have I been trying to cross an intersection while running and some bozo is clueless about their surroundings, and makes a one-handed left turn while jabbering on the phone in their other hand, and doesn't even bother to see that the pedestrian crosswalk sign is activated and their left turn arrow is no longer green, but decides to go ahead anyway and nearly runs me over...then some of them act like it's my fault and get pissed off at ME!!?

More times than I can count, and it happened twice on Tuesday at the same intersection- going each direction. Harmony & McMurry.

I'm still trying to figure out why so many people seem to think driving a thousand pound piece of metal at any speed warrants multitasking.

I read with amusement the article appearing in our local paper, the Coloradoan, this morning, an article on how to make pedestrian crossings safer. I laughed because on Tuesday of this week, I was thinking the exact same thing myself. Mr. Fort Collins Traffic Engineer, are you listening? The crosswalks are only as safe as the people who are using them. I think he had it right with the three "E"s: education, engineering, and enforcement.

As far as education goes, I'll tell you what I think. I think every able-bodied person who applies for a driver's license and renewal should spend some time outdoors, on foot, or on a bicycle, crossing these intersections and crosswalks. Then maybe they'd get it. Maybe they'd finally get it through their thick multitasking skulls that it's dangerous to be out there as a pedestrian or cyclist when you have motorists who don't pay attention, don't adhere to the rules of the road, and are at an advantage with the size and speed of their vehicle. Maybe then they'd be more considerate of people who are not in cars.

I'm not saying that pedestrians and cyclists always follow the rules themselves, but sometimes it's more dangerous to cross an intersection legally than it is to find some random place in the middle of the road to cross when there's a break in traffic. Harmony & McMurry is a perfect example. That's where I typically cross to connect from the north part of the Power Trail to the south end, there's a gap of about 3/4 mile through the neighborhoods south of there unless you go cross country by the power line, where there is no safe pedestrian crossing.

We have pedestrian-activated crosswalks at other crossings along the Power Trail and it's pretty common to see most of the cars stop, but there's always some idiot who is either distracted on the phone, or wants to be jerk, and plows through anyway. You can never assume that just because one lane of cars stopped, that the adjacent lane doesn't contain one of these bozos.

As they said in the article, if everyone were paying attention, there wouldn't be a problem. That's why the cell phone issue irks me so much. There are other distractions, sure, like playing with a car radio or rubbernecking, but from what I see on the roads, cell phones are the major distraction.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate cell phones?

When You're There, BE THERE

Allow me to indulge. At the risk of sounding like a grumpy, long jowled old geezer, I have been meaning to eventually post a rant on cell phones. Given today's local headlines, this is the perfect time.

No phone call is worth someone's life, unless you're dialing 911.

Today's front page headlines are the result of the recent death of a 9 year old girl who was riding her bike in the bike lane near her school, when a driver, allegedly distracted by talking on her cell phone, ran over the girl.

Regardless of the facts, the whole incident brings up an issue that we deal with on a daily basis.

Does anyone remember the days before cell phones? When driving was a singleminded task, and there was nothing else to do except drive, and maybe listen to music or the radio. Phone conversations could wait.

What is it about our lives that we can't slow down our pace and wait until we get home to make that phone call? Can we not do anything without multitasking?

There is nothing that irritates me more when I'm driving than to be behind someone who is going half the speed limit, holding up traffic, so you get around them and as you pass, you see they are deep in a cell phone conversation. Or someone holding the phone up to their ear while they make a left turn across a major intersection. Stupid!

What drives me equally crazy is when I'm running and I need to cross an intersection in front of a waiting car. I want to make sure the driver makes eye contact with me before I cross in front of them. I can't tell you the number of times people are on the phone, yakking away, not even looking, about to turn and plow over you. I don't take a step in front of them until I know they've acknowledged my presence. Often I'll stand there staring right at them, until they notice me. Hello!

Sometimes I have to resist the temptation to thump their car, to wake them out of their oblivion, but I don't do that, because anyone that boneheaded obviously values their own personal gratification and material objects more than anyone else's well-being and probably wouldn't hesitate to pull out a gun. Sometimes if I'm feeling particularly annoyed I'll look right at them and mouth the words, get off the phone! That only works if they're looking at you and they have some conscience left.

The statement these people are making, by talking on the phone while driving half a ton of metal at 50 mph, is: MY unnecessary, self-indulgent, arrogant, petty little phone conversation is so much more important than YOUR life.

Anyone who fails to grasp the responsibility that comes with operating a huge machine at high speeds and can't understand what impact that would have on a human body needs to get out from behind the wheel. If you have any further doubt, go visit some patients in a trauma or neuro ICU, and then follow their progress for the rest of their lives.

Insurance companies could help the situation, if they would include a clause saying that you're not covered if you were on the phone when the accdent happened. Hit people in their wallet, usually that's the only thing that will make them change. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to get phone records to see if someone was on the phone at the time of the accident.

Hang up and drive!

Then there's texting. How ridiculous people look, especially older folks who can't see unless the object is longer than an arm's length away, holding the blackberry out there as they walk down the hall, or looking down their nose through their reading glasses. Texting is great for teenagers, until they reach driving age. Then they need to get over it.

I recently got a Blackberry. But I don't talk and drive. I won't even touch or look at my cell phone if I'm driving. Besides, it's turned off, and 99% of the time I forget to bring it with me anyway. I got it only because I wanted a way to use my email without dragging my laptop everywhere, when I travel, and if I need it in an emergency. I think it will serve me well. I don't use my cell phone and I tell everyone before I give them my number that I often forget I have a cell phone, and calling me on it will not guarantee that I'll get the message. I always have it turned off.

I generally dislike phones and prefer face-to-face conversation, followed by e-mail. I have a hard time believing my eyes when I see people in races talking on the phone too. But that doesn't bother me, because they aren't driving a vehicle at high speeds. I might even use my phone in the upcoming Across the Years race to call home.

What to do about cell phones? My advice is, keep it turned off until you can pull over, preferably out of traffic. Better yet, throw the phone out the window. Who needs it anyway! It's a mindless yakking machine!

Let me say it as nicely as possible:





Hang up the @#$%&*ing phone! And drive!