Just Say No to Crack, Day 7

Did it. Got my butt out the door before 8 a.m., 23 degrees outside, first hard frost of the season. Was tempted to stop for this, but kept going. I ran for a full hour, along Spring Creek. Didn't feel like death, either. I'm back.

As you can see, I figured out the problem with photo uploads. It was a browser issue. But I didn't need Google Chrome. I just needed an updated version of Internet Explorer and that was hidden in the accessories of the new laptop. I'm a little slow with technology, but eventually I figure it out.

Day 6. Blunning or Rogging?

.It's one of those perfect fall days, the kind I live for. Sleet falling from the sky,  wind blowing the leaves off the trees and the color at peak, so much that it looks like the leaves could just jump off. This morning we went up to Wyoming. I needed a control alt delete. 

Dennis drove and I took pictures.  I'll have to add them sometime in the future, I finally figured out how to get some pictures on Blogger, it hasn't been easy but I figured out a workaround. I think it's a conspiracy by Google to make you install chrome as your browser and I'm not going to do that.

Again, low-energy. I still need to go for some decent runs this weekend but for today all I'm doing is a 1 mile dash around the block. I'm doing a little extra walking so that I can dictate this blog post into my phone then I'm going inside to make a warm drink and curl up with Isabelle and Dennis for a relaxed evening.

it's supposed to be nice this weekend I'll take advantage of the weather to start running again... real runs, not this minimalist BS.

Happy weekend!

Day 5, Time Warp

I officially ran. I shouldn't even count this as a run, but today was one of those days when you get a pin in your balloon and you have to regroup mentally and emotionally before you can reclaim yourself and your senses. 

So after a long, long, day of starting at 4:45 am, going to Denver and back, and working all afternoon in the cave, and trying to take a nap but not being able to sleep, I finally got out, just after dinner, in my bathrobe, with Dennis as my witness, and ran in the dark down the driveway, past the community mailbox along the sidewalk, past the neighbors' house, then turned around for an out and back. I estimate it was 0.1 miles. 

I did it. Kept my streak alive, on a week where I have the energy and brainpower of a slug. Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. 

So what happened? I was accidentally and temporarily absorbed into the suckhole of a past traumatic experience and suddenly found myself as a 28 year old graduate student being told by a old crusty fart told that my ideas of merging the two disciplines of physiology and behavioral sciences in recreation research had no place in our discipline, and the feelings associated with that, being afloat and mentor-less and out on a rudderless boat on a choppy sea, halfway through a Ph.D. program. 

Just having to regain my equilibrium. I was talking to a doctor about my business and I realized that we really do speak different languages. Coming from a holistic, nursing and patient-advocacy perspective, talking to a physician who is of a certain mindset, can be one of the most frustrating experiences, because you don't have the language to communicate it. 

Anyway, it's gone, but it took me a little while to realize where it took me: back to a place long ago, before I had the life experience to recognize that there were some people whose world view was limited to a certain territory and as long as you didn't intrude on their firmly held belief system, they were okay. But they couldn't see you, you were invisible. 

Yes, the old days when even in academia, in a small mixed -gender group of people, you were still invisible, no eye contact or communication was directed at or shared with you. The good ole days of the 80s and 90s when women were not encountered as often...and could easily be ignored. There but not there. Back in the days when they tolerated your presence because the law said they had to, but they wouldn't tell you the rules of the game. 

An intrusive memory, a time warp, lasting a few hours, but now I have time traveled, reinflated, and am back to myself, but that was a weird experience. I guess I didn't realize how vulnerable I felt in this situation where I am behind the learning curve, and tend to see things differently anyway. 

I really don't "get" some of the dogma of the business world. Whatever. I do what I like to do. I do what makes me happy. I'm not building a business to sell it off in a couple of years. I don't just do things for the sake of money and growth. That's why I'm NOT in traditional health care, I don't believe in winning because I had the most toys. 

Day 4, $#!% Just Got Real...

Summer ended today, around 11:30 am.

I was headed out the door for my run and the forecast calls for rain mixed with snow tonight, and it was about 60 degrees when I left the house, down from the 70s yesterday. The wind was picking up, clouds were moving in, and I felt a few cold drops falling on me even with the sunshine and mixed clouds, and warm temperatures.

Now it's sprinkling, a good afternoon maybe for a nap since my productivity has fizzled out after waking up at 4 again, no 3:57, to be precise. I teach my class tonight and then tomorrow have to be in Denver early.

I ran 50 minutes today, got a little over 5 miles in, and I feel like if I can get back to doing an hour a day by the end of the week, it will be progress. I was up to nearly an hour and a half most days before I got sick. I feel completely wiped out on my runs, even today.

No luck with blogger either. Each day, it looks more like it's going to upload the photos, and then it poops out. Not sure if it's a problem with Windows 10 or what, but it was doing it before I got this new laptop. So I have no idea what it is. Dammit Blogger! I have so many pictures I want to share!

Day 3 NaRunBloPoMoMo

Today was a little better. I still don't have a lot of energy, but I did manage to get out for 5 miles and dragged my butt around the lake. It was hot! This is supposed to be our last beautiful fall day, tomorrow night it is supposed to snow. I picked a big bowl of raspberries today. Last ones of the season.

They are going to back off on my dad's chemo dose by 50%. He's been improving so they are going to try to get him off of it and see what happens. That the best news of all. I'm still worried, but I hope this goes well. He had so much more energy when I saw him last month.

I need to get back to work, this will be short one today. See you tomorrow...and whatever was the issue with Blogger, it's not solved, but it's acting different than the last 2 days. I am holding out hope for it to get fixed...until then, just text. Sorry!

Day Two NaRunMoMo, What Doesn't Kill Me...

The time change is killing me.

Usually it wouldn't be a problem in the fall since you get an extra hour of sleep. But I keep waking up at 4 something a.m. and can't get to sleep until late.

Today was one of those days where you enter into it with good intentions and everything goes on a tangent. I did get a few things done that needed to be finished, and it's really not all that bad, but it totally screwed me up being half brain dead anyway. What happened?

1. Picking up my new laptop from the Geeks. I didn't go to the original Geek Squad. I have never used the Geeks before, I can usually manage on my own. But this time I'm busy, distracted, irritable, impatient, and I didn't feel like messing with it. Windows 10 will take some getting used to, as well as the new keyboard.

Plus they had some private information, my temporary password for some of the stuff on the computer, and email and phone number around the purchase of my laptop, and they left it sitting there on the counter. I happened to look back as I was walking out of the store, and my info was just sitting there on the counter next to the register, while they were ringing up more customers. I walked back up to the counter and looked at the clerk straight in the eye and said, "If you're not going to shred this, then at least put it somewhere so it's not in plain view." Oh I was pissed. I thought about raising even more hell, but I'll save my energy.

2. Getting caught up in social media distractions. Some of this was productive but it was very time consuming.

3. Issues with Blogger. I can't get photos to upload. And I'm an idiot because I just got a new computer today and I am way behind the learning curve here, between Windows 10 and my brain fog. So again, my apologies, but until I figure out what's wrong there will be text-only posts here.

4. Finishing up some continuing ed classes and stuff I had to do for certifications, etc. Took way too long.

5. Not getting out to run until 4 pm, when I'd already been up for 12 hours and working for 11.

So I went for a mile run, which took me 12 minutes and 27 seconds, and I was looking at my watch the whole time, it was the longest mile I have ever run in my life. I didn't think I could get through it without walking. Somehow I did, but I decided it was enough. I'll do better tomorrow. I followed it up by pushing Isabelle 2 miles in the cart. And then it was dark outside.

I already warned Dennis who is on his way home, that I had a day and I need to be chill. I feel sort of like I used to after those 12 hour shifts at the hospital, where I simply could not function or interact with another human being until I re-established the safe zone, the energy field around me, because I felt so stripped bare.

I haven't had a day like this in nearly 2 years, so that's good. But I don't want to have any more of them.

So now I need food. But at least I got through Day Two of the double challenge, running and blogposting. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better and can have a more balanced day.

Oh by the way one of our neighbors saw me pushing The Bella in the cart and told me when he dies, he wants to come back as my dog. That was the highlight of my day.

Day One of NaRunMoMo

My sense of smell returned this morning. I forgot that that's one of the joys of fall, smelling the leaves and earthy stuff. Fortunately we still have enough green foliage around that it should last a while longer.

Woke up at 4:24 am, couldn't figure out why except I heard a CLUNK in the bedroom. It was Isabelle, walking around in the dark, bumping into walls and knocking things over. Dennis woke up and carried her downstairs, thinking she had to go outside. Having a geriatric dog means you never know what kind of surprise might squish between your toes if you get up in the dark...

I went to bed at 10 last night, late for me, but then I realized we changed the clocks and it was really 5:24, close to my usual wake up time. Dennis went back to bed and I got up and made coffee, and came out to the cave. Isabelle seemed content to lie in the cold grass sniffing the air in the middle of the backyard.

For some reason my 4 year old coal-fired laptop with the 8 track drive in it has been having issues and I am about ready to spring for a new one. I saw a cool one with dual floppy disk drives, what do you think? I am having issues with uploading photos so I might have to add the pictures later. It could be an issue with Blogger today, which would really be annoying since it is officially NaBloPoMo, but my laptop really has been acting up. So I apologize if you get a bland text-only blogpost today. Should be fixed within 24 hours.

The Fort Collins Running Club was having its Tortoise & Hare 5K this morning and I try to attend as many as I can, I've been a member of the club for a gazillion years. But lately they've been getting 150 people at these things and I am not one for crowds. We used to have 10, maybe 20 people show up. It's great that the club membership has grown and so many more people are involved. I prefer it that way, it's just that I don't like running with so many people.

I know, most road races have more like thousands. If I wanted to be around crowds I would sign up for them.

This morning's event was at Warren Park which happens to be exactly a mile from my house. And it isn't cold, it was 40 degrees when I woke up and didn't dip much below that even at sunrise. I haven't run since October 21, the day I woke up with this crud.

I showed up and there weren't a lot of people, but then a few minutes later it was packed. The runners start according to their handicap time, so I wasn't going until 21 minutes after the hour. I had time to socialize. I lined up to start with my friend Joanne, we've never been in the same wave before but we ran together most of the way and finished pretty close in time.

I actually ran faster than I thought I could. I took off at a brisk pace but not too hard, and tried to maintain that. At the first mile mark I hit it in 9:12 which surprised me, because I felt comfortable. I haven't been running anywhere that fast on my runs lately, but we got through mile 2 in 9 something, and then I felt like I could push it a little harder in the last mile.

Ended up with a 27:23, which I figured out later is 8:50 a mile average pace. I honestly didn't believe I could even run one mile at that pace right now. Having an 8 before my pace is something I never would have expected at this point.

I ran one mile to the park and one mile home, so I ended up with just over 5 miles of running today, with a little extra effort. That's part of NaRunMoMo, picking up the intensity twice a week. Mission accomplished, for today. 29 days to go.