Been Busy...

but I'm back!

Finally reached my point of "I can't stand it anymore!!!!" The motorcycle tire around my waist is just too much for me to bear. It's grossing me out daily. I still have another month of working on this book most of the time, so the sitting is still going to be an issue for a while longer, but not too much longer.

As if I needed insult to add to my physical state of affairs, today I was out trying to run very slowly and carefully, trying not to aggravate my back, which has been sore and stiff for several days, and I passed some old fart (probably not too much older than me) on a bike who was pulled off the bike path by the sidewalk, talking on the phone. As I ran by, I heard him say, "Sorry I can't concentrate on talking, a female jogger just went by me."

WTF!!??? Excuse the #$%*& outta me! Every time I think I'm old, gray, and wrinkled enough to be immune from sexist ignoramuses like that, I get reawakened. So when he finally rode by me, I said, "You're lucky I'm not in my usual condition." I woulda kicked his ass and mansplained it to him. Perhaps he needed his balls cut off and stuffed in his mouth so he'd shut up next time?

What's been happening lately is that I have gotten really fat and out of shape. I've been very inconsistent with running and I've been having back problems too, a result of sitting too much, gaining weight, and not doing the exercises that I normally do when I'm training- core, weight training, etc. And I've been a bit stressed, over miscellaneous things, which contributes to stress eating, which I've been doing, and drinking too much alcohol, which I've also been doing. One of the main sources of my stress has now been relieved somewhat.

The other morning I could barely walk down the stairs, my back was so tight and stiff. And a few other reminders- trying to stretch in order to work on my back requires that I bend forward in certain ways and I am running into a pile of flesh. That I am not used to. Unacceptable. I really do need to lose about 20 pounds.

But. The other day I had an epiphany. I really do miss ultras and I want to move forward with a few items on the back of the mind bucket list. I have always wanted to do a 6 Day race. And I want to go back to the Keys 100. Just one of those races I always have wanted to do again- so much fun and so beautiful. Dennis wants to go back there too. And I am still looking at doing Across the Years 24 hour this year, just the 24 because I am so out of shape at this point I think it would be wise for me to just run for fun, get a few miles in, as a training run and hang out with running buddies I haven't seen in a long time.

In order to get to that goal of the 6 Day race, I think it will take me at least 3 years. I'd like to do Cornbelt again or another 24 hour next year, but shoot for the 48 hour at ATY then, if I'm ready. If not, I'll push it forward another year. I can think of some other way-out-there, crazy ideas too.

I've even considered Spartathlon, though I will need to get in shape to qualify again, and then there's the problem of getting in, and then figuring it all out, and then even finishing the race itself is iffy, which would probably involve some kind of crazy strategy of racing 50 miles then walking most of final 100+ miles. Which is fine, but that's a problem for another day.

First things first. Marissa just told me she is looking at having another Fatass run this fall in Colorado. I imagine that will be 12 hours, which is a great summer goal for training, and a buildup to Across the Years.

My life has been extremely busy. I'm juggling several projects right now, and about to start on the last full chapter in the book. I'll be sending the manuscript off to the editor before I leave for any summer trips. June 30th is my deadline date, self-imposed, but I have stuck to it. The work on the Appendix will be a lot to do, but most of it is already written. It should be done in the fall, I'm hoping October, but before the holidays, anyway.

The girls have grown up! I've been super busy with them too. We ended up getting Velcro spayed a few weeks ago. We took a trip up to our property at Trout Creek Pass a few weeks ago. She was already showing some subtle signs of going into heat, and we were headed up to the mountains and I was worried about having her up there like that, with all the coyotes and other dogs up there. And bears, etc. So when we got back from our weekend up there, I made an appointment. And she definitely was in heat.

We have been going to the same vet since 1984 with all of our dogs, and we love our vet. Velcro does too, because she gladly went into the back with them, no separation anxiety in being taken away from her mom. Mom, on the other hand, had enough separation anxiety for all of us.

Velcro did fine, she didn't even need to wear her cone of shame. She was lethargic for a day and then you would never know anything happened. Gypsy is not nearly as physically mature as Velcro was at the same age, so we have time. The Gyppers is about 1000 percent more amped up with energy than her sister, so it will be a challenge keeping her calm when she has her surgery.

Oh, and my friend Megan just twisted my arm the other day into going out to Death Valley this summer and working on medical at this blog's namesake race. I swore it off, said I was retired, but I have to admit I sure miss Death Valley in the summer, and would love to see Ben and Denise Jones, John Vonhof, Don Meyer, and a lot of other people I haven't seen in some time.

We had a huge storm here last week and we had a ton of heavy wet snow that took trees down and raised hell on everything. Fortunately we were spared this time, we only lost a small maple tree, the top snapped off. But our apricot trees were fine and our garden beds only had lettuce in them at the time, so no damage. Now that I've planted tomatoes, eggplant, cauliflower, peppers and more, I am sure we'll start having hailstorms.

That's about it...not extremely exciting, as I haven't been running much at all, maybe once or twice a week and just a few miles then. I have been pretty good about getting on my feet and doing 50 or so miles a week of walking most weeks. But I've had my share of slug weeks too. I know it's going to be a challenge to get it back, but I've finally reached a point where I am mentally ready. Now I just have to fix my back, which should cooperate with some massage, stretching, and gradual return to a real training program.

I hope to make more appearances at this blog. It's just been so hard to write the book and for my other writing obligations, and then I'm not running, so there hasn't been much blog-worthy news. I hope to turn that around in a good way, soon.

Happy summer! I'll be baaaack....

Catching Creepers

Give me back my night!

I've been meaning to blog about this but haven't gotten to it yet. The entire female portion of the Fort Collins running, cycling and active community has been terrorized for the past couple of months by this creep who assaulted 7 different women this fall. The Sheriff's department just yesterday announced they have made an arrest.

I hope they've got the right guy, that's not a guarantee, given the past local history of wrongful imprisonment. But if this is the guy, and I hope so, many people would like to see him strung up by his balls. Lately a lot of active women in town have been imprisoned indoors thanks to this asshole.

I love to run at night, and I usually don't let fear stop me, but for some reason this time it did. I've been having a hard time motivating myself and I really did want to run at night over the past few weeks, and even though the incidents were far from where I live and run, I just didn't feel okay about it.

It was a gut feeling. And I still don't feel too safe, I don't know why, because I always worry about copycat creepers, there have been some Peeping Toms in our neighborhood, and with another house nearby that seems to have some drug activity going on, I haven't been feeling too good about being out there by myself. The price of growth. Fort Collins is becoming more like a city.

There are enough creepers everywhere, even in daylight. I don't put up with street harassment, as I've written about in the past. The older I get, the less tolerant I get, I am of the mindset that I've endured this crap my entire life and I'm tired of it and you would think that people would have evolved by now. But it goes on. Now I just call their employer. And if I end up having to converse with them, I ask them what they would do if some asshole talked to their mother or sister or daughter or wife like that. And I can say it in two languages.

It was refreshing, though disturbing and chilling to see that one video that circulated recently on social media, the one on street harassment throughout an entire day on city streets. No, they haven't evolved.

Just this past week I encountered creepy roofers. Twice. One group of them on a church roof, and another in the neighborhood where I run regularly. The Mormon Church is having their giant roof replaced and you would think with all those kids around there on their missions, the one with their name tags designating them as "Elder" or "Sister", the church would be more careful about allowing them to be up there on the roof leering at the women. But then women haven't exactly been a priority there unless they're making babies.

Yesterday I finally got a spark of motivation, a wild hair or something, but I got out for 90 minutes of running. It was only because I had to take my car in to get the brakes worked on, so I ran home from the car dealer and then ran back to pick it up later. And both ways I have to go by the Mormon church and through this one neighborhood. I was running down one of the streets and there were a bunch of guys on the roof of this one house, and they abruptly stopped what they were doing and looked down at me. Stopped what they were doing, stood there staring, and one called out, "Hi."

Dumb creeps, on a roof. Sorry dude but I'm not rescuing you if you fall. Oops, my trauma nurse certification expired. Don't know what to do. Oops sorry forgot my phone, can't call 911. Too bad you'll have to bleed to death from your crushed skull. But that's okay, shouldn't affect your brain. Their company's liability insurer could hit the jackpot there.

I decided that if when I ran back they said anything else, I'd be giving their boss a call. But they were too wrapped up in their work when I ran back, so I spared them my wrath. Shouldn't have, but did anyway.

While I was at the car dealership dropping off my vehicle I ran into one of the doctors I used to work closely with at the hospital. We talked for a while, he couldn't believe it's been a year since I left. I think the last time I saw him was right around the time I left the hospital. He told me he's over it, ready to get out and move on, health care is so screwed up. Physicians are so frustrated. It's sad, all the focus on big data and the factory model of health care is ruining it for everyone who went into it because they wanted to give good patient care.

Lately things have been interesting with business matters, I'm moving forward on a project I am pushing in various directions at once. I'm learning so much about different aspects of business and marketing, and I have two attorneys now. I'm collecting them. So far I have a contract attorney and a patent/trademark attorney.

Soon I'll have more attorneys than toenails.

All the toenails that were going to fall off after my last race have now come off. I have seven toenails left, giving some the benefit of the doubt. Actually two of them don't really count as toenails, they are more like little cuticles, so that's five toenails.

And I narrowly avoided a panic attack at the grocery store today. I got all the stuff for my Thanksgiving fruit salad, braving Whole Foods and the parking lot from hell, and got out of there before insanity took hold. I will not be entering a grocery store again until Friday, when everyone is busy lining up and assaulting each other outside the big box stores.

Black Friday is a great day for running. Can't wait.

Raising The Hackles: Sexual Assault of a Runner

There are a few things that raise my hackles. Because I love running more than just about anything, well, maybe more than anything... anything that would threaten my running I would fight to the death. I honestly think I could kill for it.

So today when my fellow blogger Heather at 365 Days of Awesome posted this link on Facebook about her friend Elizabeth who was assaulted on her run in Mobile, Alabama, I could feel the little hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

Women are people. We know that.

Unfortunately there are men out there who think men are people, or full-fledged human beings, while women are not people, we are less. As if women are somehow inferior beings, that we are objects that are not fully up to the level of men. I won't even get into the power and control issue, or the criminal, sick psycho mind yet.

There is a rage that comes over me when I read a story like Elizabeth's, just like the rage I feel when someone suggests I curtail my running for safety purposes, or when a man suggests that somehow a woman shouldn't be out running alone.

Such rage is not logical, I know, but it absolutely infuriates me to think that he even thinks that. It just pisses me off that it even has to cross his mind.

One time in a race in the bottom of this canyon in New Mexico I was having a conversation with a guy who suggested just that. First I countered his argument, and I remember being so pissed off that I took off and ran far ahead of him, up the trail to the top of the canyon as fast as I could. I couldn't wait to get away from him.

Why would a man say a thing like that? Because he knows there are men out there who think like that. He's probably heard them talk about women and realizes these sick bastards really do exist. Maybe more of them than I'd like to imagine exist. Or maybe he was one of those sick bastards himself.

I am glad Elizabeth wasn't hurt worse physically. And she sounds like she is strong and has a good attitude toward life. She says she isn't going to let him take running away from her. But you cannot minimize what happened to her today. It is traumatic and that guy touched her body against her will. I want to kill him. But I think justice will only truly be served if he is locked up for the rest of his life. Take his freedom away, because he has taken her freedom away.

Whether a man gropes you or forces you to have sex with him, or whatever in between...it's an attack, it's a power play, it's violent, and the effects are damaging and long-lasting. It's psychologically traumatic and that is what is most difficult to heal from.

It's easy to blow it off if some asshole is leering at you and doesn't physically touch you, but it's still enough to send chills down your spine and remind you of your safety being at risk. You feel like prey.

I feel like I would kill, like I could kill, that predator. I think the rage I have would allow me to kill him. But I think anyone who impacts another person's life like that does not deserve to have their own freedom. I don't think killing them is right or just. I think justice would be having that person locked up for the rest of their life, because the impact of their action will affect the person they assaulted for the rest of their life.

Not that I would be able to kill. At 5'1" and about 120 pounds I'm not exactly at a size or strength advantage. But the force of my rage I think, if I were able to somehow gain advantage, could kill a person. Instead of killing him I might surgically alter him instead. Remove the thing he thinks is his weapon, first of all, but then I think his arms should be cut off, and legs too. Probably everything but his torso and head should be removed. I'd do it myself.

The depth of my rage doesn't even make sense to me. I feel it, and I'm not sure that any other topic has the ability to awaken those feelings in me. How dare you, anyone, take my freedom away.

I don't feel like doing violence to anyone really, except when those hormones get a little wacky and people hang pizza ads on my front door, but this is one thing where I feel I could truly hurt someone.

Elizabeth brings up a lot of good points at the end of her post. I'd like to emphasize that being aware of your surroundings is so important. One of the things I see people doing these days that drives me crazy, that I see a lot of women doing, since the iPhone and all those similar gadgets are out, is texting or talking on the phone while out walking, that is the perfect opportunity for someone to take advantage...

I'm guilty of some of those things myself. The night I saw the little boy on the sidewalk is a perfect example. I was out by myself, at night, visible, running in a familar place, my neighborhood. I don't normally go at the same time or the same route but there could easily have been a creep out there who recognized me. I didn't have my cell phone that night, either. I left Dennis a note, he knew when I should be home and where I was going. But when I'm out at night I should have my cell phone.

When I run alone at night, I do not wear music for that exact reason, I do want to be aware of my surroundings. I love to run at night, and I love to run far, and I like to listen to music under the night sky. I don't do it as much as I'd like to, for the reasons of safety and vulnerability.

When I can find a running partner at night, it's awesome, and my friends Doug and Paul and Shannon have run with me at night when I had to get those long runs in that went beyond daylight. I love the safety of a race, when I'm on the track or a race course and with other people. I can put my music on and zone out, and I don't have to worry. It's heaven, running under the moon or stars to music.

But it pisses me off that I am not as free as a man is. Not that men couldn't be assaulted too. But its less likely to happen, because they are not seen as vulnerable objects to the degree women are.

Running in open areas, in the daytime, even where there are other people around, I've been harassed by creeps, construction workers, and dumbasses working on roofs. I don't take it lightly. I don't take it at all, and anyone who gives me shit, I am going to find a way to hold them accountable. I just don't put up with it. I got some construction guys fired a couple of years back, right before Christmas, and I don't feel bad about it one bit. Let them explain to their wives and daughters why they don't have a paycheck.

If they're construction workers, get the name of the company with the contract, and the project manager. Believe me, it's worth the time. If they're street workers, get a hold of the office of the city or municipality. They'll listen. Do it the same day it happens.

Every woman who allows that shit to go on, or allows her son to become one of those bozos, is contributing to the problem. You just have to have that zero tolerance, back in your face attitude or it won't ever stop. I know how to give it back in Spanish too, because pendejos don't always speak English. Would you talk to your daughter/mother/sister like that? Habla con tu hija/madre/hermana asi?

Be safe. It makes me angry that women have this additional burden that we have to run with. Don't put up with bullshit, fight back with everything you have. The roads and trails belong to us, too.

There's No Place Like Home...

Today I took a trip to the Land of Oz.

I'm not sure if I was blown there by the 20+ mph winds all day long, with even stronger gusts, or if Oz is really just 50 miles away from Fort Collins and I ran there.



It was a tough day for a run, with strong winds the whole time, and I pushed myself hard to end up with a 10 hour, 12 minute, 56 second, 50 mile training run. Not bad for running on my own all day long, 15.4 laps around Houts Reservoir & Equalizer Lake in Loveland, and a few strange characters I met while following the yellow brick road, actually the half white concrete walking path, half mud which soon dried in the wind to dirt path.

But then, I happen to love running in the wind. There were whitecaps on the lakes and I figured out that grass grows horizontally in Oz.














And then there were the pelicans. A flock of white pelicans landed on the lake, surfing the waves. They must have thought their migration was over, and they found the ocean.





Pelicans must be the national bird in the Land of Oz. I also met some other creatures in Oz, not quite as graceful as the pelicans.

I met some Darwin Award candidates in Oz. On the south side of the lakes, there is another townhouse or condo being built next to the ones that are already there. I started running early this morning before anyone was at the construction site. After about 5 laps I heard the first catcall. I didn't think it was a catcall, I just heard something in the wind and turned my head toward the building. I saw two men on the roof, working, but obviously not working very hard.

I ignored them and ran on. After that, almost every time I ran by I heard some kind of whistle or comment, unless there happened to be a strong gust of wind howling at the same time. I could see them as I approached, standing on the steep boards of the roof with their nail gun. Up there on the roof, not paying attention to what they were doing, instead they were busy watching me run by. I bet their boss loves having employees like that.

I kept ignoring them, and thankfully they were gone for lunch for a lap which gave me a break. On the next lap I was getting irritated. After 10 loops of being ignored don't you think they'd get tired of the game?

I used some choice sign language in case they couldn't hear me in the wind, and yelled some choice words reflecting my impression of their intelligence. Then I resolved to ignore them the rest of the time. But I lucked out, on the next loop there was a man walking his dog by the same spot and that time the macho men held their tongues.

After that they seemed to be gone for the day.

This is the second time I've had to deal with this B.S. on the lakes loop. Last fall Cat and I were running out there one day, doing multiple loops. The apartment complex on the southeast corner of the lakes was under construction and some Darwin award candidates of the same mentality were up on the roof, yelling things at us.

Cat and I ended up changing our route to avoid that corner of the lake. But that pissed me off, why should we have to change where we run, it's a recreation path, and those bozos on the roof were interfering with our enjoyment of being out there.

So after we were done that day I took down the information on the project from a sign that was posted, and I called McWhinney, the developer, and asked to get in touch with the project manager. They took me seriously. I told the guy on the phone, they are making your business look bad and they are a liability, it's not only harassment but it's also a safety issue. What kind of crazy idiot would be up on a roof not paying attention to what they are doing and risk falling off the roof?

A Darwin Award candidate.

The company did follow up with it. After that there were no more catcalls, and the manager actually called me back later to tell me he had fired the ringleader.

There is no reason why women (or anyone) should be subjected to this kind of moronic behavior. It really blows me away that this kind of crap still goes on. Maybe I thought with my gray hair and middle age, I could pass a construction site unscathed. Apparently not. If you're female, you are still prey to the power games of this kind of unevolved, sick predator.

I really don't feel like pursuing that again, but if I was done early enough and had the energy I would have gone down there and raised some hell. By the end of the day the predators were gone and I was tired and wanted to get home to my Buffaloes.

At the end of my run, after 15 full loops, knowing all I had left was my extra little spur to make it an even 50, I clicked my heels together and said, "There's no place like home."

And before long I was magically transported back to Fort Collins, to the Buffaloes, who waited for me all day. I told them I would never leave home again. At least not until tomorrow morning for Rock Repeats with Katy.