Dodging Rockets...

A 5K podium finish for a middle-aged ultrarunner? Yes, this REALLY happened. This is the only time I ever get to be the tallest person around!

I didn't win the race overall, I was 2nd overall woman and 9th overall of everyone, but this was the age group awards and I had to get a picture of this. And I wasn't even wearing anything from Walmart!

This was the Berthoud Family Fun Festival 5K, small race, small town, probably had a hundred or so participants. It was for the kids, and from the look of the starting line, it was ALL kids. But it really wasn't, because almost all of the kids in the race lined up on the line itself, leaving the adults to dance around and avoid tripping over them for the first quarter mile or so. Once we got past a quarter mile, the kids were no longer in front.

But it should have been called the Obstacle Course 5K, because that's how it felt to me out there. There were other, much more scary obstacles than little kids: hamstring cramps and snot rockets.

I got through the first mile just fine, hit the mile marker in 7:09 and was very comfortable, it was actually a good thing to have the kids in front at first as they held me back from sprinting out.

Lots of turns on the course and a lot of jumping on and off of sidewalks and bike paths. Not blazing fast at all, but I'm in it for the workout. There was one woman about 20 seconds ahead of me at one mile, and I wondered if she was fast or if she would crash and burn.

Soon after mile 1, there's a sharp right and you drop down a steep little hill. About halfway down the steep little hill my right hamstring cramped up, which nearly brought me to a stop. I hopped for a few seconds until I realized it was just a cramp, and I had to slow down.

At the bottom of the hill there was a flat but winding section of sandy trail and the cramp started to let up. Soon this came to an end and we got back on city streets and climbed a BIG ASS hill, pushing as hard as I could without making the hamstring hurt, until the course flattened out again around 2 1/2 miles.

At this point I had lost sight on the one woman in front of me, but there were three men who had passed me while I slowed down for the cramp, and I was gaining on them again.

I passed two of the three, and as the course wound back onto the bike path before it hit the final nasty little hill climb for the last tenth of a mile, I was gaining on the last of the three. As we made a 90 degree turn I saw him look over his shoulder, his face had the unmistakable, eyes wide with fear, "I'm not gonna let her chick me" look and he dug in.

Well, that dude doesn't know me. That look summons death, the grim reaper, the chick machine. Any man who dares show me that look in a race is now in my sight and THE PRIME TARGET. He began to blow snot rockets, one of which I narrowly dodged. That made me laugh. Ha! You think you can hold me off with a snot rocket???!!

WRONG!!!

I decisively blew past him and up the hill, beating him by a couple of seconds.

Not only was he chicked, he was sharpei'd too...he was only 40! HA!

Finish time, 23:42. Not fast, but it wasn't a fast course, and I was running intentionally slow for most of that middle mile with that cramp.

So I wonder, is snot rocket-blowing a last ditch desperate attempt by a man to avoid being chicked?

These questions run through my head...

The race itself was a bargain. For a $15 entry fee, we got a decent t-shirt, a jump rope, some recycled pencils, a magnifying glass, and some coupons...except for the Chick-Fil-A coupons, which I wasn't thrilled about. Nice that they would sponsor the race, and they kept their presence low-key. I'm just glad they weren't giving out Chick-Fil-A cows as prizes. Instead, we got orchids, which were really nice.

Next race: Equinox Half Marathon in 2 weeks. Tomorrow's plan: More Bacon!

Work Hangover Wednesday: The Sky is Falling!

Omigod!

I went out to do a couple of errands late this morning, and at the intersection of Horsetooth and College, traffic was jammed up in every direction. What the hell is going on, on a Wednesday summer morning in Fort Collins at 11 am?

I saw a huge line of cars backed up into the shopping center on the southwest corner of the intersection by Albertsons, and then it occurred to me, they are all going to Chick Fil A. I heard some vague reference to this on Facebook this morning but didn't really pay attention. So I whipped out my iPhone, since I was stuck in traffic that wasn't going anywhere, and shot a few pictures.

I got home and started reading about it. Wow. Does Mike Huckabee own stock in Chick Fil A?

Well, the President of Chick Fil A is entitled to his personal opinion and beliefs. As far as the company goes, as long as they adhere to antidiscrimination laws regarding employment and operating a business, the HMFIC is entitled to say whatever he wants.

He must be aware that whatever he says could influence his business. And I feel the same way about any other corporate leader who speaks out on their own opinion. And if Chick Fil A wants to support organizations that promote hate and bigotry, that's their choice. People do vote with their dollars.

When I saw the car with the "Obama is a Marxist" sign in the back window, that was what prompted me to whip out the camera. Go right ahead, be my guest, whatever blows your skirt up, dude, bare your hemorrhoids to the world, a little fried chicken will just make 'em bigger. This is Amurrica. Stuff yer face for freedom!

I saw a lot of American Flag decals and other red white and blue God Bless America stickers and ribbons in the parking lot and the line to the drive-thru. What irritates me is when the flagwavers come out around these little tiffs that center around religious beliefs. Just don't get your panties in a wad if a Muslim CEO wants to speak their mind in the same way.

I would like to see the reaction of many of these Chick Fil A-ers if that happened,"Chick Fil A-ism is under attack!"

Don't confuse your religion with your nationality, bucko. It's my flag too, as much as it is yours, and I'm not a Christian, or any religion, in fact. You can be as religious in any way as you want to be, but don't expect me or anybody else to march in lockstep with you.

Regardless of your religion, don't tell me your religious beliefs are legal grounds for discrimination.

I didn't eat Chick Fil A before, and I'm not about to start now. Just doesn't sound very appealing. As far as I'm concerned, it's just another fast food restaurant contributing to the Obesification of America. And I think we can solve the problems of this country in a lot more productive and healthy way than by eating fried chicken.

You might want to buy stock in Pfizer, the company that makes Preparation H. But, just like Chicken Little, the moral of the story is, don't believe everything you're told, check it out for yourself.

For now, it appears that the only outcome of this fiasco is that the status quo of freedom to promote homophobia and discriminate against gay people is alive and well in Amurrica, and it's mascot is a fried chicken sandwich.