2016: The Year of The Donut

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This year will go down in my mind as The Year of The Donut. It's a good way to put a sweeter spin on a year that rather sucked, in many ways, but also had a lot of good and great moments and was full of learning and experiences.

Death and History

In popular culture, of course, there was the fact that we lost many well-respected and loved celebrities in the entertainment business, David Bowie, Prince, Gene Wilder, George Michael, and Carrie Fisher, followed by Debbie Reynolds, among many others. I happened to like Prince, but David Bowie was an important icon in my life, I wrote about that in an earlier post.

It's a weird coincidence that I recently re-connected with my junior high friend on Facebook, the one with whom I went to the David Bowie concert in 1978 in Philadelphia.

Death has been nearby around here too, having said goodbye or in the process of saying goodbye to people who have been important in my life. Death is part of life, as I was telling a friend this morning on the run. We don't get to choose our time to exit this world, not most of us, anyway. But we can be happy when the person gets to choose comfort at the end of their life, because not everyone does. You can have a quality death as part of a quality life.

Donuts Saved Me

One of the things I struggled with this past year was getting back into a running routine, and I have to admit, if it were not for the Donut Friday runs, I wouldn't have gotten any momentum going. I also met new people or got to know several people better from the running community, and that would not have happened if I didn't start attending the Donut runs. Now I am being more consistent, although not running as often as I'd like, I am making progress.

The Dumpers

My friend Emma is training for her first ultra early in 2017 and I'm doing long runs with her. We had a couple of great runs at the bacon strip, I'll share some pics. We have done a 16 mile run and a 20 mile run in the past two weeks out at the Bacon Strip and got to see some interesting sights along the way. Namely, a TV, and a fridge.

The story behind the TV and fridge is that on our first long run, we found the TV that had been dumped on the roadside, it was screen down in the snow, and we turned it upright, there was dirt and grass stuck to the front of it.

We wondered how it got there, and as we ran that day, we fabricated elaborate stories about how it arrived at its dumping place. I guess you could say we found the remote.

Toward the end of our 16 miles that day, we were passed by a pickup truck hauling a fridge in the back of it. We joked about how they should dump the fridge next to the TV so it would be there for the Superbowl. Then all we'd need is some beer and a couch, and maybe a grill.

The next week we headed out there for a 20 miler. As we climbed the first hill, the TV was still there, with some fresh bullet holes! We laughed that it was still out there, no one had picked it up. As we proceeded on our run, we made a turn to do a small 4 mile loop before we went out for our big 10 mile loop.

When we made the turn at 2 miles, we were about the same distance into the road headed west, parallel to the road with the TV on it, and we saw a fridge lying at the roadside, in the snow. We went that way the previous week and there had been no fridge out there, so we're pretty certain that the people we saw driving with the fridge dumped it there, and were probably the same dumpers of the TV.

Trumpocalypse- The Gift That Keeps On Giving

OMG. I am freaking out daily on the Cabinet appointee recommendations coming out of Trump Tower, or from wherever he is making his edicts. I am trying not to think about it and just breathe for now. I am hoping this whole debacle sheds light on the mess that is Washington, and the mess that lies outside of Washington, namely the great masses of the uninformed, misinformed, and generally clueless.

I cannot go into a rant about that, too upsetting. I value the outdoors, the environment, peace, justice and equality and it's countering everything I value. If someone had some common sense, they would create a giant orange wind turbine, because we have a giant windbag about to run the country. Now that would be environmental stewardship.

The Reluctant Entrepreneur

Let me just say when it comes to the commonly accepted ways of doing things, I am not cut out for this business shit. I don't have the burning desire in the pit of my stomach to go balls out (okay, ovaries) and go after money. I am not motivated by the stuff. Especially when it takes me further away from who I am and I have to deal with people I'd rather not deal with, namely, people who are motivated by greed and/or function in that world that expects 24/7 focus on business and money.

It's not that I don't want to make money, I really do want to, but it is not the reason that drives me in what I love to do, and that conflicts with how the world of business operates. I like to do things at my pace, when it appeals to me, and what appeals to me, otherwise, I'm not happy. And I certainly have re-discovered that quality in myself, confirmed it, again. The lessons will be repeated until they are learned.

The online program for Cancer Harbors did not go as planned. And that's fine, you have to try things and they don't always work. I did learn a lot though, from the many people I've talked with and the clients I have. As a result I am redirecting my energies around my project, Cancer Harbors, into the publication of a book this coming year. It's going to be aimed not just at people with cancer, but everyone who has any dealing with cancer and healthcare. Namely, all of us.

Now THAT's something I can get excited about.

Returning to My Creative Roots

I am going to go back to where I feel happiest and most comfortable, which is, where I can write, paint, and create as the ideas come to me. That is where I belong. If you wipe clean the messy slate of all of the "career"-type pursuits: education, business, nursing, and look underneath, dig a little into the dirt and look at my roots, they harbor unlimited creative energy.

I've learned a lot, and I have a great collection of knowledge and skills to share if I allow myself to be creative and unencumbered by day-to-day bullshit that being in the business world dumps on top of you. Getting past the old wounds and traumas and moving forward. I see things differently, I do things differently, and I'm not going to make any more attempts to "fit" anywhere.

I just am. Alene. Gone Bad.

Allowing that energy to come back into my life and relieving myself of the burden of feeling tied to a business model has allowed some great opportunities to come along: a paid writing gig, an opportunity to get my artwork out there again, and putting a workshop together for runners, women runners, that a couple of friends suggested was needed. I will have a separate blogpost about that within the next week, and I'll post a link to allow people to sign up in the right-hand column of the blog. It's in Fort Collins, so you have to be local, or willing to travel to the Fort for it. If it goes well, I'll do more.

And running, dammit.

And did I mention running? I want to get back to doing long runs again. I miss them. Now that I got my ipod to work again, I'm loving the tunes, miles, and fresh air.

Despite Struggle, Gratitude

I am so fortunate to have experienced some great things this past year, my dad's improvement with his cancer, that is in remission now. He does have some other health problems, but he is doing well in terms of being able to stay active and busy and enjoying life. I am also thankful for our little family that has grown over the past two months with Velcro, and Gypsy, the newest member of The Buffalo Family.

I am healthy enough to be increasing the amount of running I'm doing, and have been able to take the time to do the necessary soul-searching to get myself back on track again with what I do with my energy when I'm not running.

Being a Stay-At-Home-Dogmom is pretty damn great.

And I'm thankful for donuts. Even though I can't eat them anymore because I'm trying to bring my cholesterol down again. Last time I quit eating wheat I dropped my cholesterol by 65 points and now it's creeping back up again, probably because I've been indulging in various wheat-containing foods too often. Menopause has a way of messing with every part of your body. Things you would never even imagine are related to hormones are affected. I just take one thing at a time.

So...my personal mission statement over the coming year as I write my book and move forward with reclaiming my enjoyment of life again will be something along the lines of fostering creativity, respect, authenticity and empathy and showing people the value of those qualities. Which are sorely missing from many things...

Let's see what 2017 has in store for us. I'm not sure I want to know, but some things like the earth's rotation are unavoidable.

And donuts are round too, sort of like the earth's path around the sun. Donuts revolve around the donut hole, like the earth revolves around the sun.

Even my puppy understands that, along with other concepts in physics, like gravity. She's not an elitist, she just values science and facts more than faith.

Someone needs to tell a certain orange windbag to share these small facts with his Cabinet. They might be small details, but they should prove helpful in 2017.

Happy New Year!

Snake-N-Bacon

What a beautiful day for a long run!

I woke up early early, at 4:30 am, not intentionally. I had some coffee and got moving slowly, I threw all my junk in the car including the cooler with ice and lots of cold water and drinks, not wanting to have a repeat of last weekend's heat problems.

I drove out to the Bacon Strip and stashed a gallon of half-frozen water under some shrubs about halfway on the loop, and drove back to the parking area. I started just before 6:30 and headed clockwise. I told Jen I would meet her out there by running in that direction.

I knew there would be a lot of runners out this weekend, I got an e-mail about the plan to run Bacon from Bob's group, and I knew Danny and Dianne would be out there too. Eventually I ran into everyone, plus a lot of runners I didn't know.

I took it easy on the first loop, walking all the steep hills, drinking and eating as I walked. I was freezing for the first 4 miles! I didn't even want to refill my water when I got to it, but I made myself drink a whole bottle there and refilled both bottles. I wanted to be sure I had something left after the first two loops, my plan was to do 2 1/2 loops for 25 miles.

Once I dropped down off the high point it was starting to warm up. I saw Jen when I had about a mile to go on the first loop, she was out there doing her own thing, having just returned last night from her mother's funeral in the midwest. She described her run as grief therapy, and we talked for a few minutes and then went on, agreeing to catch up later.

At the car I refilled my bottles, drank a full bottle, re-lubed all my chafing spots, grabbed my bandana and took my piece of Starbucks banana chocolate chip coffee cake, and headed out counterclockwise and ate on the way up the first big hill. I saw Bob's group on my way out, and I saw Dianne soon after I made the first turn and we stopped and talked.

Then I took off again, feeling strong as I ran up the big hill. I refilled again, then came back to the car, restocked on enough water and food for 5 more miles, put some ice in my bandana since it was getting warm, and took off again.

I saw Danny this time, he was finishing up, and I did the 4 mile loop plus an extra half mile out & back on one of the county roads to wrap it up with a strong and steady 25 miles in under 5 hours, which, on the Bacon Strip, isn't quite as easy as it sounds.

It felt good to run slow, I haven't tried to run that slow in a while. I felt just as comfortable at the end as I did at the beginning. Managed to wrap up my week with 66 miles and some decent workouts, so I am happy about that.

I knew if I got hungry I could always make some road hors d'oeuvres, the Bacon Strip special: 1 snake wafer, 1 can of cheez whiz, and a bacon strip. Roll it all up and it's delicious!

Sunday Slaughter

It was a solid week of training for me, which I wrapped up this morning with a Double Bacon.

No, that's not a cheeseburger. It means a double loop of the Bacon Strip, which is a 10 mile loop on hilly, 95% dirt county roads northeast of Fort Collins, about 3 miles east of the Budweiser plant. Yes, even Fort Collins, the Napa Valley of beer, has diverse offerings of brewed beverages...

The Bacon Strip, being east of town, has a great view of the northern Front Range, and all the way north to Wyoming. It is also a butt kicker of a training run. According to local marathoners, being able to run a double Bacon means you are more than prepared for a marathon. I'm not sure, but I wonder if it might be possible to predict your marathon finish time from the time it takes to cover this 20 mile course.

My friend Tom Schipper contacted me earlier this week and asked if I had any plans for a long run this weekend, and I did. I suggested a double Bacon, which is about the toughest 20 mile run around here on dirt that's within 15 minutes driving distance of downtown.

I've known Tom through the running club since 1996 and we happen to be well-matched in terms of running pace. In most of the local races we finish within 30 seconds of each other. I gauge my starting position in local road races by Tom's location, he's easy to see because he's so tall.

We drove out to the Bacon Strip, and got started just before 7:00 this morning. It was a warm, windy morning. Tom suggested we run counterclockwise for the first loop, which was a good call because we had a headwind the first 5 miles, then a nice tailwind coming back to the vehicles.

I've been feeling good lately and I thought I could run 9 minute miles on the Bacon Strip. WRONG! In the first two miles my legs felt so tired I wondered if I was going to be able to complete a second 10 mile loop. We were running into a strong headwind, and we still had some cloud cover blocking the sun, but the best we could do were 10 minute miles into the wind. Eventually we warmed up a bit and it was easier to push the pace a little, but it's so hilly and some areas have loose gravel and sand that slows you down.

I started with one tall bottle of water, having downed a liter on the drive out there. I was aware that I was a little pre-dehydrated, having not taken in enough fluids on Saturday, and then drinking a STRONG margarita just before bedtime.

I regretted drinking the margarita all night. As a result I was hot flashing like crazy and kept waking up, and I only got about 4 hours of sleep before my alarm woke me at 5:30.

We got to the cars at 10 miles at under 10 minute average pace, and the cloud cover had long since gone away. We were at the mercy of no shade, no clouds, another dry headwind outbound on the second loop which we were running in reverse. We took a good break at the cars and I drank another full liter of fluid with S caps, then took two full tall bottles in my pack for the second loop.

We were still doing well as we made the turn away from the headwind at 15 miles, but it was getting hot. The tailwind wasn't enough to cool us down anymore, and by 17 miles we were both pretty much out of water and starting to feel warm. We both took brief walking breaks. I recognized that I might be in trouble with only 3 miles left to go, I had a little bit of a headache and my stomach suddenly felt a little funny. My head felt hot under my hat.

I wondered if Tom felt the same, I knew he was low on water too. Around 16 miles we had discussed my going ahead because he thought he would be slower at the end, I told him that if I didn't see him behind me by the time I got to the cars, that I would come out and bring him water.

He seemed to be doing fine so I took off but didn't get more than a half mile ahead by the final turn at 19 miles. I alternated running and walking those last 3 miles because I kept feeling like I was getting too hot.

When I arrived at the cars, three and a half hours after we started, I could see Tom at the top of the last hill coming down to the cars, less than half a mile away, so I decided to just wait for him. By the time he got to the cars he looked pale and said he wasn't feeling good. He opened his car and sat down, I told him he should get out of the sun and he got out and opened the hatchback of his car and sat there. I had him put a frozen water bottle on his neck.

Then he started puking, I dug more small frozen water bottles out of his cooler and put them on his neck and grabbed a towel out of my car. Fortunately he didn't puke for very long but he looked white.

At the same time this triathlete couple showed up, finishing their Bacon Strip loop and they had some cold water in their car. They offered it to us and I dumped the cold water over the towel and Tom sat there and recovered, until he felt well enough to start sipping some cold coke. He bounced back pretty fast after the coke, so I'm sure he needed some sugar, too.

I was really thankful that those people were there because all I had left was warm water in my car. Usually when I do a long run I am well-stocked with ice and cold drinks in the cooler, and some oral rehydration salts, and other stuff, but I made the mistake of not taking a 20 mile run very seriously.

As it turned out, it was 82 degrees when we finished. I guess I needed a reminder to come down from my ultrarunner hubris and remember that anything can happen, even on a short run, and to always be prepared. Didn't I just blog about that a few weeks ago? My long-term memory must be going along with the hot flashes. I felt like a dumbass. I was lucky I wasn't sick, too.

As the wind dried me I could see how much salt I had on my arms. That isn't normal for me when I do my sauna training, but I haven't been doing that, either.

After Tom sat there a while he said he felt good enough to drive home, so I followed him into town, and he gave me the thumbs up when it was time for me to turn off to my house. I called him later and he's doing fine. But we both realized we hadn't planned very well.

Hopefully a lesson learned. The lessons will be repeated until they are learned...

So now I'm drinking a lot of fluids and eating some soup for the fluids and salt, and I hope I can take a nap and recover from today's Double Bacon Hog Slaughter so I can make it to my next run this coming Work Hangover Wednesday...