Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Ninety Three Degree Reprieve

Tonight was my tempo run night with Shannon. Before the run I thought, he is going to kick my butt tonight.

Except it was 93 degrees and both of us were hurting when we started at 6 pm. So we decided to just do the miles and not push the pace.

When I suggested that, he let out a big sigh of relief. We'll get back to it next week. He's been pushing the mileage, and I'm still recovering, because I am still sore from the run on Longs Peak Friday. I guess my legs weren't quite ready for that.

I went to the sauna this morning and got a total of 14 miles today, but slow.

I need to start getting supplies together for South Dakota. It's not much, but I do have to make a plan for what I'll want when I'm there. I need to get some supplies for Rocket, like spare inner tubes, some tools and extra bolts and stuff. And a pump. But I have most of that already, just have to dig it all out.

This week there was a solar eclipse, and I swear, it brings out the weirdos. Worse than a full moon. I worked Monday night and it seemed like the day got weirder the longer it went on.

I've always wondered what it is about me that seems to draw people who are weird. Am I weird? Maybe so. But it's always been like this. In places like Boulder people always ask me for directions. They say I look like a local. That happened to me the first time I went to Boulder, in 1983, or something like that. I was just walking down the street and I get stopped. I lived in Steamboat Springs one winter back in the mid-80s when I did seasonal forestry work, and people used to do the same thing to me there.

And then occasionally I'll draw some weirdo, like the weird dude in the sauna, last year. They start talking to me like I'm their psychiatrist. Excuse me, but do I look like your new age therapist? Should I whip out my crystals and heal you?

Anyway the other night there was this patient who addressed me as "Ma'am" and I wasn't even his nurse but he proceeded to start telling me the most private details of his personal life that I really didn't want to know about. I finally got away from him and let his nurse know about it. I don't even think he knew I was a nurse. I could have been some random employee walking by.

Sometimes people can wear you out.

I suppose there is some degree of compassion for people, that goes along with being a nurse, for most nurses, though I have encountered a few nurses who seem to lack these qualities altogether. But speaking in terms of the general population, some people don't have the capacity for appropriate social interaction with others. And some don't have the capacity for social or emotional connection with people, period. I happened to love my psychiatric nursing clinicals when I was in nursing school, but I can't imagine working in it. Nursing anywhere provides enough psych, anyway.

One thing I recognize is that there are a lot of people out there who struggle with behavioral problems, have difficulty in social situations, and might even be considered personality disordered, but it's them and they're unlikely to change. It's usually not something you can fix or cure. It's painful to interact with them and very difficult to deal with them, but once you learn not to take it personally and accept them for who they are, it's a lot easier.

I've had to learn that the hard way with someone I care about a lot, a friend who probably would be diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder. It can be extremely frustrating until you take yourself out of the equation, then it's easier to deal with it objectively.

Anyway, enough psych for now, back to running.

I'm hungry. I want food. I only ran 40 miles last week, might hit 50 this week with some miles on the bike. I'm not in a big hurry to increase mileage before South Dakota. I need to maintain the speed I have and once I recover from that week, start building the speed again. I have some ambitious ideas brewing in the back of my head, once I get them into words, I'll share them.

And I got this in the mail today, my mileage and name to put on the Iowa-shaped wooden plaque we got after the Cornbelt. Cool. Along with a personal note from the race director congratulating me on my PR. Another reason why races like the Cornbelt are so special.


HappyTrails said...

Love that beautiful face in the first photo - looks like she's watching The Mom do stuff. :-) I, like you, do a lot of "counseling" at work. I remember, many years ago, one of our clients came in - it was almost closing and no one else was in the office - and he proceeded to tell me that his wife had left him for another woman and had left him to raise their two teenage daughters. He was a 'suit and tie' kind of guy - handsome, decent, nice - he broke down and cried. He just needed someone outside his circle to talk to for a few minutes. He has since moved away and remarried and his very lovely daughters are grown up with their own families now and are still clients. Sometimes it is weird when people confide but most of the time they just need a caring ear away from their normal family and friends.

Love the trophy! You did awesome!

I guess the heat we are having will be good prep for SD??? :-)

Alene Gone Bad said...

Heat is good prep for SD. So is the sauna. I'm tired, seems like I had delayed onset post-race fatigue. I'm taking the day off today and planting delphiniums in front of the woman cave.

When you do "psych" for a living, it's sometimes hard to deal with it outside of the workplace, because you simply need a break. I think that's another reason why I prefer the solitude of so many of my long runs.