Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Day 8 and Snakes-B-Gon

Cool Sunday morning, but it warmed up fast. Emma and I drove to the trailhead on Overland and for some reason the name of the trailhead escapes me, it's the one just south of Michaud Lane. Quick 5ish mile out & back, up to the saddle overlooking Bellvue and the foothills.

We had a lively discussion about all sorts of things, it's nice to have an adult conversation when you're cooped up in a little cave with a geriatric dog all week.

It's been a while since I got on the trails, earlier this year I was up here but now that the snakes are gone for the season, I'll do this more often. I twisted my ankle a couple of times today, it's rocky in some sections and I need to get back on the trails more often so I don't stumble so much.

Yesterday I got a flu shot and other than a sore arm, really can't tell today. I'm still hacking stuff up from being sick, that hung on forever, but I do feel better and I hope this coming week I will be back to running a decent amount, regularly.

I got an email from Bonnie at Cornbelt 24 Hour in Iowa and for a moment I considered going. It's such a fun event. But then I thought, I'll feel like I have to train for it, and then I'll go do it and have to recover, and all that, and I'm just not very certain at this point that I'll be willing or able to commit to preparing for it. Even if I just ran it for fun, there's the matter of the trip itself and recovering from it all.

I love the light in November.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Putting the Why in Wyoming...

The other day I needed to clear my mind. Fortunately I live within a short drive of some mind-clearing scenery. Dennis and I drove up to just past the state line, to Tie Siding, Wyoming. And we took in the views on a typical cold, blustery day with fresh snow. No other explanation needed.

On the way back we stopped on the south side of the state line in Virginia Dale, Colorado. The church below burned down a few years back. Now rebuilt.

I don't think I could live anywhere without views like these close by. The sky is too important a reminder of our place in the world.

More pictures:

Just Say No to Crack, Day 7

Did it. Got my butt out the door before 8 a.m., 23 degrees outside, first hard frost of the season. Was tempted to stop for this, but kept going. I ran for a full hour, along Spring Creek. Didn't feel like death, either. I'm back.


As you can see, I figured out the problem with photo uploads. It was a browser issue. But I didn't need Google Chrome. I just needed an updated version of Internet Explorer and that was hidden in the accessories of the new laptop. I'm a little slow with technology, but eventually I figure it out.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Day 6. Blunning or Rogging?

.It's one of those perfect fall days, the kind I live for. Sleet falling from the sky,  wind blowing the leaves off the trees and the color at peak, so much that it looks like the leaves could just jump off. This morning we went up to Wyoming. I needed a control alt delete. 

Dennis drove and I took pictures.  I'll have to add them sometime in the future, I finally figured out how to get some pictures on Blogger, it hasn't been easy but I figured out a workaround. I think it's a conspiracy by Google to make you install chrome as your browser and I'm not going to do that.

Again, low-energy. I still need to go for some decent runs this weekend but for today all I'm doing is a 1 mile dash around the block. I'm doing a little extra walking so that I can dictate this blog post into my phone then I'm going inside to make a warm drink and curl up with Isabelle and Dennis for a relaxed evening.

it's supposed to be nice this weekend I'll take advantage of the weather to start running again... real runs, not this minimalist BS.

Happy weekend!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Day 5, Time Warp

I officially ran. I shouldn't even count this as a run, but today was one of those days when you get a pin in your balloon and you have to regroup mentally and emotionally before you can reclaim yourself and your senses. 

So after a long, long, day of starting at 4:45 am, going to Denver and back, and working all afternoon in the cave, and trying to take a nap but not being able to sleep, I finally got out, just after dinner, in my bathrobe, with Dennis as my witness, and ran in the dark down the driveway, past the community mailbox along the sidewalk, past the neighbors' house, then turned around for an out and back. I estimate it was 0.1 miles. 

I did it. Kept my streak alive, on a week where I have the energy and brainpower of a slug. Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. 

So what happened? I was accidentally and temporarily absorbed into the suckhole of a past traumatic experience and suddenly found myself as a 28 year old graduate student being told by a old crusty fart told that my ideas of merging the two disciplines of physiology and behavioral sciences in recreation research had no place in our discipline, and the feelings associated with that, being afloat and mentor-less and out on a rudderless boat on a choppy sea, halfway through a Ph.D. program. 

Just having to regain my equilibrium. I was talking to a doctor about my business and I realized that we really do speak different languages. Coming from a holistic, nursing and patient-advocacy perspective, talking to a physician who is of a certain mindset, can be one of the most frustrating experiences, because you don't have the language to communicate it. 

Anyway, it's gone, but it took me a little while to realize where it took me: back to a place long ago, before I had the life experience to recognize that there were some people whose world view was limited to a certain territory and as long as you didn't intrude on their firmly held belief system, they were okay. But they couldn't see you, you were invisible. 

Yes, the old days when even in academia, in a small mixed -gender group of people, you were still invisible, no eye contact or communication was directed at or shared with you. The good ole days of the 80s and 90s when women were not encountered as often...and could easily be ignored. There but not there. Back in the days when they tolerated your presence because the law said they had to, but they wouldn't tell you the rules of the game. 

An intrusive memory, a time warp, lasting a few hours, but now I have time traveled, reinflated, and am back to myself, but that was a weird experience. I guess I didn't realize how vulnerable I felt in this situation where I am behind the learning curve, and tend to see things differently anyway. 

I really don't "get" some of the dogma of the business world. Whatever. I do what I like to do. I do what makes me happy. I'm not building a business to sell it off in a couple of years. I don't just do things for the sake of money and growth. That's why I'm NOT in traditional health care, I don't believe in winning because I had the most toys. 



Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Day 4, $#!% Just Got Real...

Summer ended today, around 11:30 am.

I was headed out the door for my run and the forecast calls for rain mixed with snow tonight, and it was about 60 degrees when I left the house, down from the 70s yesterday. The wind was picking up, clouds were moving in, and I felt a few cold drops falling on me even with the sunshine and mixed clouds, and warm temperatures.

Now it's sprinkling, a good afternoon maybe for a nap since my productivity has fizzled out after waking up at 4 again, no 3:57, to be precise. I teach my class tonight and then tomorrow have to be in Denver early.

I ran 50 minutes today, got a little over 5 miles in, and I feel like if I can get back to doing an hour a day by the end of the week, it will be progress. I was up to nearly an hour and a half most days before I got sick. I feel completely wiped out on my runs, even today.

No luck with blogger either. Each day, it looks more like it's going to upload the photos, and then it poops out. Not sure if it's a problem with Windows 10 or what, but it was doing it before I got this new laptop. So I have no idea what it is. Dammit Blogger! I have so many pictures I want to share!

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Day 3 NaRunBloPoMoMo

Today was a little better. I still don't have a lot of energy, but I did manage to get out for 5 miles and dragged my butt around the lake. It was hot! This is supposed to be our last beautiful fall day, tomorrow night it is supposed to snow. I picked a big bowl of raspberries today. Last ones of the season.

They are going to back off on my dad's chemo dose by 50%. He's been improving so they are going to try to get him off of it and see what happens. That the best news of all. I'm still worried, but I hope this goes well. He had so much more energy when I saw him last month.

I need to get back to work, this will be short one today. See you tomorrow...and whatever was the issue with Blogger, it's not solved, but it's acting different than the last 2 days. I am holding out hope for it to get fixed...until then, just text. Sorry!