Stuck in the Starting Blocks

It's only a week from February and I have not moved, I am still stuck in the funk that I've been in for the past four months. No progress on fitness or losing the blob around my midsection and hips, soon I'll be giving Kim Kardashian some real competition.

To top it off I did something to my back a few days ago, I can't figure out what I did because I didn't work out, didn't lift anything, nothing out of the ordinary happened in my activities all week, but Friday morning I woke up with a sore low lack, and it stretched from my sacrum all the way through my lumbar area. And all the muscles in my glutes, around my hips, and hamstrings are tight and sore. Every small movement is painful.

Friday I drove to Denver to hang out with Steph for the day. It was a mental health break for both of us. We mostly just sat and talked, took her dog for a walk at the park since it was a decent day, and caught up on what's happening in our lives. We still have to carry out our mutual bucket list trip to Death Valley to see all the sights we never got to see during the race.

Getting out of the car when I got home from her house was excruciating. I iced, took ibuprofen, and slept on the floor Friday night. Saturday was hell, and I had to sit in a chair for much of the day finishing up my chemo class. Thankfully I got it done, one less thing to deal with right now. But my back hurts! Can't bend over to do laundry, pick up dog poop, empty the trash, feed the girls, or anything I need or want to do. Getting in and out of the car seat is an ordeal.

Today I went for a walk with Iris for a couple of miles and that felt okay. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't painful and it helped to loosen things up.

I'm not thinking very clearly or being efficient at getting any work done. My brain is not firing properly. Executive function is seriously impaired. When you get dressed you have to think about the steps in order to complete the task, like putting your underwear on first, then putting your pants on, then your shoes. It's very difficult to get through those steps. I was trying to describe it to Wheaties Boy on the phone. We've been trying to figure out when we can meet to run, and I am in no shape to get my butt out the door.

I have too many stray thoughts, my brain is unfocused and unsettled. Chalk it up to hormones, the weather, isolation, depression, who knows. It's a combination of things, I'm sure. I need to sort out the tangles. Not running at all for the past week hasn't helped. And now I can't run at all due to my back. I'm hoping things will improve this week.

I'm tempted to get in the car, drive south and west, until the sun stays out and there's no more white or gray in the landscape. Some bougainvillea flowers would be nice to see. Palm trees, oleanders and cactus. But it hurts to sit...

I'm hoping this coming week will bring me some forward progress, I can scrape the gum out of my brain and unstick the parts.