Date With A Porn Star...

Curiosity killed the cat. Or maybe it was a raccoon. I saw dozens of dead raccoons, roadkill along I-80, like the official roadkill of the Midwest.

I had to check out this Maid-Rite thing. I had a sadistic fascination with anything as bizarre and porno-esque as a "loose meat sandwich" and I was in post-race repletion mode, so why not?

Conveniently, as I needed to stop for gas in Grimes, Iowa, there happened to be a Maid Rite place just behind the gas station off the exit.

I ordered a basic Maid-Rite basket, just a plain sandwich and fries, and a drink. They give you a spoon, too, in case you have some stray loose meat that falls out of the bun. I was impressed by the fact that they had hand sanitizer by the register and by the trash cans. How often do you see that in restaurants? Actually they should have that in all restaurants, and all hotel rooms for housekeeping staff to use between rooms. What a concept.

Anyway the plain old boring Maid-Rite sandwich wasn't too bad, it wasn't exciting or anything, but it was palatable. And a small, reasonably sized dose of French fries tasted pretty good too at that time.

The other thing was the portions were like normal food, not supersized like everything else in the world. I drank the iced tea for the caffeine, and hit the road again. I did a few laps around the parking lot before leaving, it felt so good to walk the stiffness off.

I lucked out again, the wind shifted yesterday from east to west, so I had a tailwind going home too! Nice for saving money on gas, and it made the trip a bit faster.

After a while I needed to stop again at a rest area just to walk and stretch out my legs. So I did that.









And then half an hour later I was starving again. I stopped in Kearney and for some reason I was craving Taco Bell, so I found one, and ordered one taco supreme and some beans, and that wasn't enough so I went back and ordered two more tacos. There I was, living out my Taco Bell fantasy.

Before I got back on the road, I felt sorry for Dennis tonight, after all this horrible road food.

I stopped one last time for gas and being hungry again, in Sidney, Nebraska. This time it was a McDonald's salad.

Then a couple of hours later I was home, with a beautiful sunset over the mountains.

It was so nice to be home to Dennis and the girls, I got the dramatic greeting from the Buffaloes, and we took them for a walk around the block to help me stretch my legs.

I feel pretty good despite the long hours on the road, I'm sure Tuesday I will be sore from sitting in the car, and I cannot wait to get back to eating salads and my other normal foods.

Maybe this would be a good time to get that colonoscopy over with...