Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Brighter and Hotter

I'm sitting here in the 95 degree woman cave, getting a little heat training in. Just sweating a little. Might turn on the AC later. But it can be used as a sauna.

Being bombarded on Facebook with tales of pre-Badwater preparations, people running Vol State, and other things I'd rather be doing right now, has been pretty rough, but I'm enjoying the stories. Vol State is one of those bucket list races that I'd like to do sometime just for fun, but I'm not overly excited about it at this point. Not yet.

Yesterday afternoon I went out for a walk so I could think, and I got no more than 50 feet from my house when I ran into Phil, an ultrarunner neighbor of mine. He's training for Leadville. I asked him if I could jog along with him to the corner, to test out my legs.

I ended up running with him for about a mile and my groin did not bother me at all. It doesn't feel worse today, either. The hamstring, I could just barely feel that, it was the kind of thing where you know that it's okay as long as you stay at a certain pace, but if I tried to stride out or run fast, I'd feel it.

My mind really needs a change of scenery, so I'm considering making a part-day trip to Estes this weekend and hiking up the Longs Peak trail, if my hamstring will allow it. If not, I don't know what I'll do. I need to get out and move forward, and see something different than the inside of a woman cave and my house and the streets of Fort Collins.

All my inner turmoil is being quelled somewhat. I find it helpful to talk to people I trust and respect when I lose my way in the world. It helps to bounce these crazy thoughts and ideas off several of my close friends and get their input, and I find out that no, I'm not so crazy despite the wacky things I've been thinking. There are some parts of this that I need to let go of, and I need to practice that. Some of it I'm willing to pursue but if it becomes necessary, I'll let go.

So after a very validating and positive coffee meeting this morning, I felt a bit recharged. I need a long walk, hike, bike ride, or something to run all this junk through my brain and out the other ear.

I looked at the calendar and I think as long as I can keep the hamstring on a healing trajectory I should have enough time to salvage my training before October. The race in August is looking iffy, but I won't worry about that for now. Might end up just being a training run with a new place to check out, or not at all. I'll worry about that after I get through THIS month.

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