I find it hard to focus on whatever I'm doing. It's an unsettled feeling, like the ground is moving underneath me, and I'm not sure when the other shoe will drop.
I'm trying to keep it together, not get enraged, and breathe. Some days are better than others in that regard. Yesterday was a particularly difficult day, and I went out hoping to get a run in, but I was tired. So I walked. Twelve plus miles, hoping the rhythm would clear my head.
It didn't.
I came home and tried to focus on preparing dinner, playing with the girls, and checked Facebook. Big mistake.
I use social media for a lot of socializing, and some work-related stuff. But I've lately allowed myself to be sucked into some discussions where there is a combination of intelligent discussion, ideas for taking action, and venting. And then there are the occasional people I haven't heard from in a while.
I try not to vent political stuff on Facebook but when it comes to nursing and issues around that, I do. It's a way I've been able tor each out to some of my fellow nurses who are still in the corporate world and living with fear for their jobs.
The other night an acquaintance of mine posted something about his frustration with the Trumpocracy and his anger with the people who are defending him and looking the other way as he issues one legal atrocity after another. The way he wrote the post hit home so well for me, that I read the few comments posted on there. One comment set me off. It was someone who first of all used very poor grammar and sentence structure, claimed to be a veteran, and was using personal attacks against the person who posted.
I lost it. I wrote back and told him I don't care if he's a veteran, that doesn't give him a special right to come back and attack citizens who disagree with him. I always resent when people use their veteran status to attack other people when justifying their political views. Didn't veterans defend this country so we can have free speech, freedom of religion, and all the other freedoms that now are at risk under the current escalating coup? People don't seem to be able to understand how to attack an idea without attacking the person.
The guy wrote back of course, attacking me, as I expected him to, but I didn't engage him any further. I am just so tired of the weak and irrational excuses people are making to justify their oppressive political stances.
It was a pathetic waste of my time and energy, but it did feel good, so maybe it was therapeutic.
Still, there are so many people in this country who support this regime who aren't seeing what's happening. And feel misunderstood, dismissed, disenfranchised, think that it will somehow help them. The Democratic party has failed miserably in their attempts to gain the people's trust. And the Republicans have no conscience, it seems, though just a few are speaking up. I can't believe that there aren't more Republicans who will fight this attack on our Constitution.
We need unity to fight this, and all the distractions and lies being thrown our way are just that. Distractions and lies meant to throw us off and take us away from what we really need to do, which is fight back with everything we've got. I've been writing my GOP senator, Cory Gardner. Fortunately the other Senator is good, and we've got a good Congressman who are fighting for the people.
But it remains, as a poster child for narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathy, Trump truly is unfit to be President of anything except his own personal business dealings, which I hope he returns to 100% so we can get on with the business of running a country in a humane and civilized way.
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