Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Bright Side of Insomnia


This morning we woke up to this...

which expedited my Keys 100 entry into the mailbox!

The past week or two things have started to improve around here. Between working part-time now, a fun Thanksgiving day with running friends, and finally getting my butt out the door for a 24.5 mile run on Sunday after Thanksgiving, I am starting to feel like there is hope again.

The one thing that has not changed, and has gotten worse, is my insomnia. I love sleep, I love to sleep, I worship sleep. A little help for my low mood, brain fog, and irritability in the form of an SSRI over the past 2 weeks has been a huge help but it has made my sleep even worse. I figure if I am going to be sleep deprived, at least I am not feeling hopeless on top of it.

I spoke with one of the pulmonologists I work with who specializes in sleep disorders. He told me that he sees lots of women around my age in his office, and really hormones are the most effective thing. I am not a sleeping pill enthusiast and that would only be a quick fix. Since hormones will not be an option for me, I will have to work around it some other way.

He gave me some ideas for improving my sleep, like not going to bed so early, not lying in bed awake if I can't go back to sleep right away, and so on. I am considering getting a set of running clothes ready and going out with the Buffaloes for a middle of the night run if all else fails.

After my 24 1/2 mile run I felt like I am going to be okay to train for a 100 in the spring. I felt great, ran steady the whole way, very little walking at all. I ran up on the hills at Horsetooth and up and down in the foothills trails, and to and from home on the bike path.

I feel like I passed through the portal and I am on the other side of something, I can see daylight again. If I can improve on my sleep that would make things look so much brighter. But I will do what I have to do, I'll work with the body I have, and I'll make it work. Maybe I can finally get the motivation to work out with weights again, in the middle of the night. Maybe I'll write a few books, train for night ultras, clean out my closet, organize my life. The possibilities are endless...

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