Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Friday, October 4, 2013

Cleaning Up

I've been gone for a week! I'm spending all my time working, other than a few breaks to go running, run the Buffaloes, and go to the pool. It's an intense time but I'm enjoying it. The hours and days fly by.

Outside my window the sky is dumping a sleet-like rain. Thirty-seven degrees this morning. Yesterday afternoon before the temperature started dropping I pulled most of the remaining peppers, tomatoes, and basil out of the garden.

The leaves on the cottonwoods and the other trees around the house are still green, but won't be for long.

I can feel the toxicity melting away. I feel like I've been a living Superfund site lately. What's amazing is how making a change can turn things around so quickly. I felt like the stress was eating a hole in my gut. I'm hoping the hole is healing, a little Pepcid helped.

It's hard to put so much time, energy, and effort into something and have a huge disappointment and be let down by people you hoped would be more honest and forthcoming. Over the past year I've experienced so many negative feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, fury, disgust, shock, disappointment, disbelief, and a few more...

But I also know that following your own heart is the most important thing. And things do happen for good reason. I'm still in the process of letting go. I can tell that I've been in a deep dark hole for quite some time, because the feeling I have now from making this decision to move on is helping me find my energy and enthusiasm again, and my positive outlook is returning.

I have quite a few very supportive friends who have helped me get through this tough time and are helping me move forward. I am so thankful for the many people in my life who are here for me.

2 comments:

Rocky said...

Cleaning is my favorite thing to do when during rest day. We don't need yesterday's waste for a brighter tomorrow.

Alene Gone Bad said...

Wise words Rocky!