Scatter my ashes here...

Scatter my ashes here...
scatter my ashes in the desert...

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Seeing Stars

It's refreshingly quiet this morning, the air is cool and heavy with moisture but the stars are visible, with more clear sky than clouds overhead, as far as I can see in the darkness. No rain falling. For the sake of everyone stranded, evacuated or flooded, I hope it's done.

I go into work this morning to start the last of my scheduled back to back 12 hour shifts. Weekends are always easier. It's just as busy, especially on Saturdays, and we're not usually staffed any better, but it's just me and my coworkers and the patients, none of the extra people in suits milling around who do things that tend to get in the way of patient care. If I didn't have a life outside of work, I'd probably just work weekends.

But I can breathe a little easier, knowing that after this weekend, the exhaustion can abate and I can move forward making plans for what I need to do. I need to sleep again, get those afternoon naps that I've been missing out on, and restore clarity to my thoughts. Getting back to working out will be a big piece of that, too, once my energy returns.

Lately I've felt like there's an endless well of sewage, outrage and frustration that I needed to purge...getting re-focused will allow this to resolve. I've dumped much of it here, and I thank my blog readers for bearing with me.

Writing about it helps, and there's a lot more writing going on than just here on the blog. It's been pouring out of me like the flood we just had. Being honest about your feelings is important, if there isn't an outlet it will drive you crazy and eat holes in your insides.

I'll take a few deep breaths and stretch my body a little before work. The pool reopens on Monday and I'm already planning to meet Connie there, we'll resume our pool running and I'll swim a few laps too, recover from my last work hangover day, and get back to living my life.

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