Thursday, October 4, 2012

Restoring Balance

I've been doing a lot of therapeutic blogging lately, and not so much about running. I've been struggling in general, even though running has been going fairly well.

So I have to apologize but this blogpost isn't going to be about running. I'll have more running to talk about by this weekend, but for now, I need to write about girl stuff. Sorry guys, perhaps my female readers will be able to relate to this...

Yesterday it was my first day off, work hangover day, and I didn't feel good at all. I had this overall feeling of being out of balance, things were not right. Some of it has to do with having a lousy day at work on Tuesday, but I'm having some physical issues too. Still on the hyperthyroid end of the spectrum, and I feel like my body is doing strange things.

I fell off my bike a couple of months ago, I was out on a ride with a friend, stopped, and turned around to say something to him and tipped over before I could pull my feet out of the clips. I fell on my left side, and soon after that began having issues with my right hamstring and IT band.

Dennis massaged me and I stretched a lot, and finally one night I rolled over in bed and felt my hips and pelvis shift, there was this big crunching click that felt like my pubis symphysis re-adjusted itself, and suddenly my right side issues were gone. Except about a month ago, I gradually started developing the same problem on my left side. The other day on my long run I felt like I was twisted- like my hips were pointed diagonally, and my left hip, hamstring, IT band, and glutes were sore for a couple of days.

Yesterday I tried to run and after 3 minutes I bagged it. I felt like crap. My body wasn't there, and my mind wasn't there. I walked home from where I stopped. I felt tense, upset, anxious, and in general, like everything was wrong. Sort of the way I've been feeling for the past month, but all hitting me hard at once.

I finally decided to try getting adjusted by a chiropractor, one I know from years ago, just to see if that would help. Late in the day yesterday I went and I'll give it a try for a couple of weeks of adjustments to see if that helps. If it doesn't, I'll try something else. Not sure what.

Going there yesterday, I didn't feel too much of a shift when he adjusted me, maybe slightly on one side. He did notice that one hip was slightly forward and the other one was back. The other thing was that while I was there they checked my blood pressure, and it was pretty high for me. I thought of checking it at work the other day because I felt like it might be up, but I got busy and forgot. It's not as bad as it was when I was working in ICU, but it was not good!

It's good to have some data to give you feedback on how you're doing every once in a while. I think it's a combination of too much thyroid medication, and I've already backed off, but it does take a while for it to settle down, and this hormonal thing with the onset of menopause. I've had so many women tell me they get anxious, tense, have unexplained rage, and all the things I've been experiencing lately.

Going back to half decaf coffee, getting through this certification exam which is causing me fits, there is so much information, and I took this online review class that sucks, it's been a total waste of time and money except I will get a big chunk of continuing education credits for it, if I can ever pass the damn review class test by the deadline in 3 weeks, and after that, I have to continue studying on my own until I take the actual certification exam itself.

Finally, figuring out what I can do to provide some peaceful, restorative time for myself these days, all will help me get back to where I need to be.

Last night I had this horrible realistic dream that I was back in ICU working, and this one doctor I absolutely dreaded working with was there. I had to call her because my patient's blood pressure was out of control. There were all these people in the patient's room and they were partying, totally oblivious to me trying to work with the patient. Nobody could hear me when I said anything.

I am in desperate need of some therapeutic recreational time. Running doesn't count. I think I've been feeling like I have all this stuff to say and no one to listen. Husbands and guy friends don't understand, it's just not something they can relate to, or what they want to hear about.

I'm going to see Steph in a couple of weeks, but I need girl time now! I miss my girlfriends, the ones I can trust and really open up to. They're in far away places like Denver and Grand Junction. I hate talking on the phone, and that's my only outlet right now.

I promise to start writing about running again soon. Thanks for indulging me. QUACK!

No comments: